She Must Be Completely Off Her Rocker to Write Another Festering Spawn of
the Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills Meet the Mighty
Morphin Power Rangers With Special Guest Appearnce by the Superhuman
Samurai Syber Squad: Rangers in Paradise
Opening theme, with apologies to Jimmy Buffett (to "Cheeseburgers in
Paradise")
Power Rangers in Paradise (paradise!)
Zed and Rita aren't too nice. (paradise!)
Watch Kim and Tommy, Ay-yi-yi! (paradise!)
I'm just a
Power Ranger in Paradise...
Trini Saotome is one hot tomato!
Rocky and Jason do the horizontal tango!
Billy loves machines, and Adam's a deer!
Good grief, Zordon, which way do I steer?
To those
Power Rangers in paradise (paradise!)
Zed and Rita aren't too nice (paradise!)
Watch Kim and Tommy, Ay-yi-yi! (paradise!)
I'm just a Power Ranger in Paradise.
A shadowy, cloaked figure lurked in the back of Ernie's Gym and Juice
Bar, idly contemplating a large group of color-coded teens. The figure gave
them a look which suggested they were prey. She grinned evilly, almost -
"Hey, Sues. You wanna play some Magic? I've got a couple of new decks I
want to try."
Susan glared at her older brother. "Do you mind? I'm trying to be
ominous, here."
He shook his head. "I'm sorry, but you just don't have it, yet."
"Well, not all of us are six-foot-two-inch vikings. We have to work a
little harder." She sighed. "Maybe I should go back to sneaky and
skulduggerous. I'm pretty good at that one."
Robert pulled up a chair. "Okay, what's the problem?"
"Well, technically speaking, I'm the greatest supervillain in this
universe. I mean, I could just have the sun go nova with a few keystrokes,
right?"
"Uh-huh."
"Then why can't I get rid of these stupid Rangers? Why do I keep writing
these stupid parodies?!"
"Because you're a pervert?"
"Hmmmm....probably. Well, let's get this latest farce started."
"May the Farce be with you."
Susan stuck her tongue out at her brother.
The Rangers sat at the huge round table at the center of Ernie's Juice
Bar. Trini was in an unusually good mood. She waved a small postcard with
the picture of a panda on it to the rest of the team. "My cousin from Japan
is coming to the states for the Martial Arts Surfing Championship in
Honolulu. He wants to know if I'll be competing."
The rest of the group looked at each other. Rocky rubbed his temple with
his fingers. "Martial arts *surfing*?"
Trini nodded. "Sure. It's like a regular competition, except the
contestants have to surf at the same time. I used to be pretty good at
combining it with the martial arts strip tease."
"I'll just bet you were."
Trini ignored Jason's comment. "Anyway, I think I'm going to go. It's
not as if we have Zed or Rita to worry about, anymore."
"Am I the only one who's noticed that whenever we say something like
that,some crisis comes along?" Billy asked noone in particular.
"You know, a group trip to Hawaii would be nice. Tommy and I could have
a second honeymoon."
"Our first was only three months ago, and the baby's due any day, now.
Some honeymoon."
Rocky shrugged. "Zordon does fine without us when we're at school. This
shouldn't be any different."
"Am I the only one who's noticed Angel Grove only gets monster attacks
while we're on vacation here?" Billy asked an empty seat.
"What are the entry rules?" Ayesha asked.
"Just sign up and show up with a surfboard. This is anything goes, so
there's really only one rule: whoever wipes out first, loses."
"Uh, I think I'll pass on that one," Adam said.
"Yeah, Trini. The effects of cold water could be detrimental to certain
people," grinned Billy.
Trini blushed slightly, only Billy and ZeoBilly noticed. "You're right.
I hadn't thought about that."
"Besides, how are we going to pay for this trip?" ZeoBilly asked. "We
have no visible means of financial support, after all."
Kim blinked in ZeoBilly's general direction. "Like, our parents are
loaded."
Bulk and Skull blundered into the Juice Bar, knocking over stray
customers. "Hey," Ayesha called. "What happened to the new guy?"
Bulk shrugged. "Skull and I were trying to get that ouija board to work,
when he walked in on us. He screamed something about it being 'just not
natural' and ran away."
"As a Malibuwatcher, it will be your job to keep the beach free from such
dangers as three hundred pound women in day-glo orange string bikinis." The
curly haired man looked sternly at Mark. "Any questions?"
"What about lifesaving duties?"
"We leave those to the lifeguards. We mostly sit around and look pretty.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a concert in Munich tomorrow."
"Michael! Michael!" called a male voice from behind them. They turned
and saw a black sports car with a red light above its grill which slid to
and fro came towrds them, spraying sand on unfortunate beachgoers.
"Michael! You haven't forgotten me, have you? It was a little red corvette
that drove you away from me, wasn't it?"
Michael ran in the opposite direction. "Keep away from me!!"
Mark shook his head. "It's just not natural," he muttered as the car
sped past him.
"What was unnatural about your ouija board?" Adam asked.
Skull shrugged this time. "Probably the women's underwear we had on our
heads."
"Yeah," Rocky nodded. "That might do it."
"Ouija boards are superstitious nonsense, anyway," ZeoBilly commented.
Bulk peered closely at Billy, then ZeoBilly. He pointed back and forth
between the two of them. "Wha? Huh? How? Who?"
"This is my long lost twin brother," Billy paused a moment to think,
"David. David, meet Bulk and Skull."
ZeoBilly gave the two detectives a wry grin. "A pleasure."
Jason leaned over to Rocky and whispered, "This makes two years, and
still nobody notices."
"Two years and a pregnancy," Rocky answered.
"Hey, Tommy," Skull giggled. "You look like you could switch clothes
with Bulk."
Tommy smiled. "I have felt big enough for two people, lately, now that
you mention it."
"Didn't Bulk and Skull notice the change, but not recognize us?" Billy
asked a passing dust mote.
Ernie sighed. He was really getting too old for this Rangers business,
he told himself for the umpteenth time. He looked down at the airplane
ticket beneath the cash register. Well, now was as good a time to make the
announcement as any. He cleared his throat. "Hey, everybody. I've got
something important to tell you."
The room took a few moments to quiet down. Ernie cleared his throat
again. "There's no easy way to put this...I'm retiring."
"Murmur. MurmurmurmurmurMURMUR! Murmurmurmur. Murmurmurmurmurmur?" The
room responded.
"Now, don't worry about the Juice Bar. Lt. Stone will be taking over,
and he's told me there will be little or no disruption in the running of the
Bar."
"Murrrrrrrmur. Murmurmurmurmurmur."
The White Stranger stood before the console in front of Zordon's column.
A maniacal grin played across her face. "Tell *me* what buttons not
press...I know one of these is the volume control." She pressed random,
bright colored buttons. A small noise got her attention, and she
disappeared in a flash of white light.
Lt. Stone rounded the corner, accompanied by Alpha. "So, I get this
along with the Juice Bar?"
"Yes. It will be your job to help guide the Power Rangers. Ernie will
show you what to do."
Susan reappeared behind the pair holding a Windows 95 CD-ROM in her right
hand. "Hiiiiiii! Don't mind me. I'm just here to do this-" She pressed a
button on Alpha's back and popped in the CD. "Buh-bye!" The white light of
her teleportation filled the Command Center once again.
"Well, that was weird," Lt. Stone commented. He did a quick double take
as Alpha began dancing around in a circle, sparks flying from his body.
"Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!" The little robot bumped from barrier to barrier
as he did his dance. He rebounded off the console and slumped down to the
floor. "Bill-eee..." The red light that normally raced across his facial
area stilled, then went out.
Lt. Stone blinked twice. "I don't think he was supposed to do that. I
better get Ernie." He ran for the secret passage behind the column.
***BREET-DEE-DEET-DA-DEET-DEE***
The group of teens left as one and squeezed into the hallway near the
entrance to the Juice Bar. "Yeah, Zordon. What's up?" Tommy asked in a
stage whisper.
"You must come to the Command Center at once." Zordon bellowed. "It is
most urgent." The Rangers exchanged worried glances just before dissolving
to a rainbow of multicolored lights.
A terrifying sight greeted the Rangers as they materialized in the
Command Center. Alpha was slumped by the control panels, and there was no
sign of life from Zordon's column. Both Billys went immediately to Alpha
and began examining him. "Zordon?" Tommy called, not really expecting an
answer.
"I am here Rangers. You cannot see me because my time as your mentor is
over. Normally, this occasion would be greeted with joy as well as sadness,
for it means you have graduated to the next level of wisdom. However, today
the day I have feared the most has come to pass. Someone teleported into
the Command Center and sabotaged Alpha-5."
"Why would anyone want to harm Alpha?" The Billys asked in unison.
"Unknown." Lightning played about the column as it began to hum to life.
"I see my time is short here. Your new mentor will have to help you."
The Rangers collectively watched the column as the top half of a human
figure coalesced. When it was finished, Adam called out, "Hey, it's
Jeannie!"
"Huh?" asked Ayesha.
"It's Jeannie from 'I Dream of Jeannie'," Rocky answered before Adam
could respond. "But why is she wearing white?"
"Because none of the rest of us qualify?" muttered Jason under her breath.
"I am not Jeannie." The figure responded. "I am...Demetria." I'm going
to have to seriously hurt Ernie for this one, Lt Stone thought as he watched
the twin monitors from his station hidden behind the juice counter; one view
showed Demetria while the other gave Demetria's view of the Command Center.
Sigh...may as well get on with the rest of the script. "I am a Queriron,
from the planet Jeopardia."
"Queer-iron? You mean everyone on your planet is gay?" Zack asked.
Lt Stone sighed again. His head was starting to hurt. "No. 'Quer' as
in 'query'. I will answer you in the form of questions."
"Like, what's the point of that?" Kim wanted to know.
"Will you not learn to think for yourselves?"
"Uhhhh..."
"Guys, we've got some bad news," ZeoBilly interrupted.
"That foreign operating system caused extensive physical damage to
Alpha's circuits as well as reprogramming him." Billy continued.
"As far as we can tell, the program was designed first as a virus, then
as an operating system."
"We should be able to repair the damage, *if* we can find parts for him,"
they finished together.
Kim leaned over and whispered to Trini, "Don't they ever scare you?"
"All the time," Trini whispered back.
Tommy clapped each Billy on the shoulder. "If anyone can put Humpty
Dumpty back together, you guys can."
Adam noticed a stack of papers as the two Billys moved Alpha to what was
jokingly referred to as the 'operating table' where they made new gadgets.
The papers looked like some sort of printout... Weird, Alpha and Zordon
didn't make printouts. "Maybe this'll help," she said, holding up the
papers. "Looks like a report on a spaceship crash."
Billy left Alpha to ZeoBilly and headed over to Adam, who gave the papers
over. "Let's see...It looks like it crashed on the other side of the
mountains. Why does it look like a gear, though?"
"What?" ZeoBilly was alarmed. "Let me take a look." He walked over, and
took the printout from his counterpart. "This is ship from the Machine
Empire!"
"You mean the guys you were fighting in your home universe?" asked Rocky,
who had been tuning out in favor of trying to see through Demetria's clothes.
"I was starting to wonder why they hadn't shown up," Trini commented.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Kim asked, confused as usual.
"We haven't had any major supervillains show up since we captured those
posers from the other universe."
Zack scratched her head. "What did we do with them, anyway?"
"We sent them back along with the other Rangers," Jason answered.
"Did we? I thought we sent them to jail," said Ayesha.
"Whatever," sighed Kim. "We got rid of them."
"Anyway," Billy interjected, "Rocky, could you come with us? We might
need help bringing things back from the crash site."
A small, dark grey cat trotted down Mockingbird Lane, not worried about
the traffic...there wasn't any. The mid-afternoon sun brought blue
highlights out in her sleek fur. She was a pretty kitty, and she knew it.
An open door to one of the houses caught her attention. That was
unusual; she'd better go check it out. She ran straight for the door.
Humans were funny creatures and tended to shut doors on ones face.
Inside, she sniffed around the first room, one with one of those picture
boxes. It was just showing black right now. Shadow was slightly
disappointed; sometimes the boxes showed birds. She always liked it when
they did that, especially one big, fat, yellow bird.
The cat made her way to a huge room, filled with shelves, and those
shelves were filled with *things*. Her bright, green eyes went wider than
usual. Oh, this was going to be too much fun.
The three Rangers each excavated a separate area of the crash site.
"Guys!" Rocky called out. "I found something."
ZeoBilly wiped the beads of sweat off his face. "Again? I hope it's
something more useful than an engine."
Rocky scowled. "Just because I'm not as smart as you two..."
"Let's just look at what you've got there," Billy interrupted. "One of
us needs to find something before we all die of heat stroke."
"I think I found the occupants."
ZeoBilly finally made his way to the other two, and looked inside.
"That's King Mondo! And over there is a piece of Machina, holding her fan.
Sprocket's got to be nearby."
"Is that him?" Billy pointed to a rotund form near the back of the
cleared area.
"I think so," ZeoBilly said. He grinned over to Billy. "Are you
pondering what I'm pondering?"
"I think so, Billy, but leather just doesn't breathe," Rocky quipped.
Billy ignored him. "Probably. We are interuniversal counterparts,
afterall."
"We'll need to have them teleported directly to the Command Center.
They're too heavy for us to lift," Billy and ZeoBilly said in unison.
"Oh...but Alpha's not there to do that for us," Rocky pointed out.
"Right, I forgot."
"Couldn't one of you two teleport ahead of us and do it?" Rocky asked.
"That makes sense," Billy said, and teleported in a blue streak of light.
ZeoBilly and Rocky stretched out on the rocks as best they could. In a
few moments, Rocky's communicator beeped. "I hear you, Billy. What's up?"
"I've widened the beam for teleportation. So, I need you to each sit on
one or hold one, then teleport back here."
"You got it, babe." Rocky closed the connection on his communicator. "We
could each sit on one, and hold the lightest between... What's wrong?"
"I am not a babe," ZeoBilly said in as close to a growl as Rocky had ever
heard out of him.
"Um, right. Sorry, man." This was getting just too wierd. "Anyway,
let's each sit on one and hold the third between us."
"Right."
The two Rangers arrived in a flash of mixed red and blue light, near the
operating table. Billy pressed a few buttons on the control panel, then
went back to help the two with Machina, the robot they held between them.
The rest of the Rangers gathered around them in a semi-circle.
"I wonder what happened to them?" Tommy thought aloud.
"We do have a way to find out, if they're willing to do it," Trini said.
"Yeah," said Ayesha. "How about it, guys?"
"Wait a minute," Tommy put in. "We don't know if there's any danger in
it."
"I, for one, don't want my mind overtaken by undead androids," Billy said.
"Could you both do it together? Have one be active, and the other act as
back up?" Trini suggested.
The two Billys looked at each other. "It should work," they said.
"Let's go through Machina," ZeoBilly said. "We need an adult
perspective, and I think Mondo might be too strong even for both of us
together."
"Agreed," said Billy. "I've got more experience, so I'll be the active
partner." She grabbed the machine queen's disembodied head, which rested on
her former torso. Billy looked around. "We'll need someplace to sit down."
ZeoBilly hopped onto the operating table, by Alpha's feet. The other
Rangers began sitting on the floor; Rocky and Jason each had a tub of
pocorn. "Try sitting in my lap," ZeoBilly said, as he extended a hand to
help his counterpart up.
"All right, a floor show!" Trini whispered under her breath.
After getting herself situated, Billy closed her eyes, and reached out to
the object in her hands.
Shadow stood proudly atop the first set of shelves, and looked down at
her handiwork. Most of the objects she batted weren't very interesting, but
a couple bounced for a while and that was amusing. She hopped to the next
set of shelves, snickering behind her whiskers at gravity.
The gray cat landed on a small stack of papers, which she happily sent
flying into the air. She'd have to find some way to thank the human owner
of this house for all the fun she was having.
The object at the opposite end of the shelf caught her eye. There was
movement inside the clear ball. She hopped neatly over the other debris in
her way or sent it flying out of her way. She sniffed delicately at the
globe. Two of the tiny creatures inside tried to hit her nose with sticks!
She flattened her ears against her skull and hissed meancingly at the
creatures. She batted at the globe, claws extended, until it joined the
other formerly shelved objects on the floor.
The globe shattered into hundreds of pieces, some large, others
miniscule. A thick, reddish smoke filled the air. Shadow, already alarmed,
bristled her fur out and hissed again, but curiosity kept her rooted to her
spot.
Slowly, the fog dissipated to reveal four human-like creatures. Humans
were all so strange, it was hard to tell if they were human or just close.
The red one stretched out his staff and looked around the room. "Where did
that wretched feline go?" he growled.
The (Shadow guessed) female with horns pointed up at the small cat's
position on the shelf. "Up there, Zeddy. Here, kitty, kitty." Shadow
merely hissed in reply.
"I've got an idea," Zeddy said, and pointed his stick at her. Red light
came out of it and suddenly there wasn't enough room for her on the shelf,
nor could it hold her weight. She and the shelf crashed to the ground.
"Owwwwww...."
Why did that sound like a human noise? "What did ya do t'me?" she
wondered aloud. Ok, now that was definitely human talk. "Somethin' weird's
goin' on here."
Rita held a hand out to the former cat. "Why don't you come with us,
dear, and we'll explain things."
Shadow hissed again. "All right, but I don't trust you."
"Well, at least we know you're smarter than everyone else in Angel
Grove," Zed commented.
Billy mentally traveled into the darkness that was now familiar after a
year of intense training. She could feel ZeoBilly's presence just beyond
the black curtain. Blackness retreated to a dull, deep blue as she joined
with Machina. <<I want to see the last few moments.>>
It wasn't hard to coax the memories out; they were all the dead queen
wanted to talk about. Billy described aloud the scnenes she was seeing
through the android's eyes.
The flagship of the Machine Empire was nearing the blue world that
was its next conquest. "Well, Machina! There it is...the natives
call it 'Earth'," Mondo said as the blue jewel filled their ship's
viewscreen.
"I still don't understand why this world is of such consequence,"
Machina said. "It's so...backwater."
"But, my dear, it's a challenge. No one has been able to conquer
it, not even that insufferable Lord Zed."
"Zed doesn't even come close to your power level, Mondo. It's
hardly a fair comparison." It also wasn't exactly true, but her
husband had such a fragile ego.
"Quite true, my wife!" Mondo laughed. "Enough of this mindless
arguing. Let's choose a place to land."
"That coastal area on the western continent looks promising."
Machina offered.
"The one near the western peninsula? Hmm. I'd been thinking
about that area, myself. Something about it intrigues me." He
clapped his thick, metal hands together. "Then that area it is!"
***
The flagship made its final approach to the chosen landing site,
in a desert just beyond the local mountains. The rest of the fleet
was just behind them, waiting for their king's all clear. Suddenly,
the cog pilot started screaming for help.
A large, red-haired human dressed in black was systematically
gutting the ship's control panel. The two cog pilots lay deactivated,
a large wrench was nearby. The human looked right into Machina's eyes
as he gathered his treasure and said, "Paaaaaaaaaaarrrrrtssss..." He
vanished in a black light.
Sprocket came into the cockpit from the back. "What's going on?
The ship's wobbling!"
Machina turned away from the scene of rapidly rising mountains to
her young son. He was built such a short time ago, only a couple of
centuries, really. She fluttered her fan in front of her chest in an
almost nervous gesture. "Everything will be fine," she lied.
Sprocket put on a brave face, but Machina could tell with a
mother's intuition he was frightened. He knew she was lying. She
tried to comfort herself with the thought of her older son, who would
carry on his father's conquest of the universe. It was the last
thought she had before a loud, roaring crash and darkness enveloped
her.
"Gasket, my son...," a tear fell from one of Billy's eyes. "No! You
can't make me leave!"
ZeoBilly held tighter to Billy; Jason and Adam stopped in mid-munch of
their popcorn. "What's going on?" Trini asked.
After a long pause, he managed to whisper, "It's a war zone in there.
Machina's very determined."
Billy began sobbing incoherently, then slowly calmed down. She wiped her
eyes and sniffed. "I'm...okay. Just never ask me to do that again."
"You need a few minutes to get yourself together?" Tommy asked.
"I know you don't want to go through that again," Ayesha began. "But
could you get Alpha back that way?"
"Negative," ZeoBilly answered. "We'd get the memories of the past, but
there's not enough of Alpha's original programming left to bring him back."
Billy nodded sadly. "Even if we manage to repair his body, he won't be
quite the same. In essence, he'll be Alpha-6."
A sudden realization dawned on the Rangers. "So, Alpha is dead," Ayesha
whispered. He had been almost as close to the little robot as Billy.
"Anybody else want popcorn?" Jason asked.
On the moon, Goldar and Rito dressed in aprons and swept out the
palace's many halls and rooms. "Enh, I don't see why we have to sweep these
rooms out. I mean, we never use 'em."
"Shut up and sweep," Goldar growled.
"What do you think of the new monster Rita made? She's a real hottie."
"Only if you're into cats. Now get back to work before that witch
catches us goofing off."
"We're not goofing off, we're admiring my sister's handiwork."
Shadow took a good look at her new body in a full length mirror her new
"friends" provided for her. Not bad. The thumbs would definitely come in
handy. She'd been wishing for a pair since she figured out how most human
devices work. She still had her pretty face and beautiful grey fur, too.
And the matching mane looked very nice, she had to admit.
"So, what do you think, Kitty?" the witch beside her asked. Rita, that
was her name. "Hmmm. We need to name you."
"Not bad, fer a human body." She waved her tail in an impatient gesture.
"Why d' ya have t'name me?"
"We can't just call you 'Kitty' all the time," Zed growled.
"Why not? It suits me jus' fine."
Rita sighed. "All right, Kitty it is. We don't have time to argue about
it. We have evil plans to make."
"Rita, my dear. I do have one suggestion."
"What's that, Zeddy?"
"Let's leave Angel Grove alone."
"How about Hawaii? We can finally have our honeymoon."
Zed gave a long suffering sigh. She'd eventually get her way, she always
did when it came to these things. "Whatever you think is best, my dear.
Shall we start with Pearl Harbor?"
"Oooh, I like the way you think, Zeddy. Must be why I married you."
Shadow rolled her eyes. Yeah, she'd make her break from these fools
soon.
The Mightee Moron Powered Strangers gathered in the garage of the old
missle silo that passed for their Command Center. Five of the Strangers
gathered around Robert, who was working underneath the Black Widow. Rob
bent down to a box of odd-looking doodads. "Where'd he get these?" he
wondered aloud.
"Dunno," Susan answered, "but I wouldn't hold onto those things for too
long."
"Why's that?"
To illustrate his sister's point, Robert reached out for the doodads Rob
held, his head and shoulders peeking out from under the car.
"Paaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrtssss!" He grabbed the mess and disappeared back
beneath the black automobile.
"I bet Zed and Rita use this as an opportunity to attack," Kim muttered.
"Don't be so paranoid," Zack said. "They're caught in that snowglobe,
remember?"
"Yeah, well, *somebody* made that last monster grow."
"Maybe Trini flashed it when we weren't looking."
With the exception of the two Billys, the Rangers were back at the Juice
Bar. They figured it would be better to stay out of the way. However,
Trini was poised to go at any moment should they need assistance, since she
was the most technically inclined of the remaining Rangers.
Lt Stone delivered the Rangers their drinks, each coded to their color.
He thought it was taking things a bit far, but he couldn't say anything
about it, or they'd know he knew about them. When he thought about it, he
wondered why he hadn't noticed before he took Ernie's job (he hated the
Hawaiian shirt even more than playing the part of a female...at least he
wasn't *stuck* that way, and no one saw it in public). Maybe it was a sort
of 'Clark Kent' effect. "So, what are you guys up to? You look a bit
tense."
"Failure to forget school?" Jason suggested.
"College got you, down, huh?"
"Among other things," Trini muttered.
"That's why I joined the Police Academy. Took less time and I had a
guaranteed job afterwards."
"But now you're running a juice bar," Kim pointed out. "Not exactly
following your dream."
"Yeah, well, there's just no call for private detectives in this city."
Alpha's humanoid inner shell was removed completely and given a burial in
a pile of rocks just outside the Command Center near the crash site. Billy
and ZeoBilly worked on the repairs in near silence, seeming to read each
other's minds (which may very well have been the case). Most of Sprocket
was canabilized...his parts were close to the same size as Alpha's.
Demetria was curiously absent, not that either Ranger noticed.
They worked nonstop until close to midnight, while a storm raged outside,
when Trini teleported in carrying a picnic basket of assorted food. They
paid no attention as she laid out a yellow-blue checkered blanket and called
out, "Come on, you two, before it gets cold."
"Not now, Trini," Billy answered, barely loud enough to be heard. "We're
almost done."
"You guys need to take a break some time. What if you get tired and
start to get sloppy?"
Billy and ZeoBilly both stopped a moment to think about that one. "You
wouldn't happen to have lasagne in there, would you?" they both asked.
"Homemade." Trini pulled out a foil covered deep dish filled with a
reddish substance.
"Maybe a rest would be in order."
"So, I take it the operation isn't exactly going well?" Trini asked as
she portioned out three plates.
"Well," ZeoBilly sighed, pouring out Dr Pepper into three glasses, one
yellow, two blue. "considering we're almost starting from scratch, we're
not doing too badly. But there's still a bit more to go before we even
begin trying to program him."
The gentle rumble of a summer storm softly rolled through the Command
Center. Outside, the rain pelted sharply against the building, reduced to a
small stacatto by the thick walls. "I'm not looking forward to that part,"
Billy said.
"Neither am I," ZeoBilly agreed. "Do we even want to try and give him
his original personality?"
"Regardless, he needs to have knowledge of everything that's gone
before."
A loud crack interrupted the conversation, as lightning struck just outside.
Billy gave a slight smile. "The advantages to an indoors picnic."
Another loud crack, and the room shook slightly with the sonic force. A
few of the brightly blinking lights flickered. Billy raised an eyebrow. "I
thought the power systems here were autonomous?"
"So did I," said ZeoBilly. "Maybe the storm system and the proximity of
the lightning is interfering with the morphing grid?"
BBBBBBBBBBBB OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO MMMM MMMM
BB BB OO OO OO OO MM MMM MMM MM
BB BB OO OO OO OO MM MMM MMM MM
BB BB OO OO OO OO MM MM MM MM
BB BB OO OO OO OO MM MM MM
BBBBBBBBBBB OO OO OO OO MM MM
BB BB OO OO OO OO MM MM
BB BB OO OO OO OO MM MM
BB BB OO OO OO OO MM MM
BB BB OO OO OO OO MM MM
BB BB OO OO OO OO MM MM
BBBBBBBBBBBB OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO MM MM
The thundercrack had all three Rangers instinctively ducking to the
ground. A small St Elmo's fire tickled Demetria's column. Lightning played
down the twin rods flanking the column and made its way to the control
panel. More lightning crackled on the operating table, in and around
Alpha's body. "Yeah," Trini said, "I'd say it's interfering with the
morphing grid."
Alpha's body began to twitch and jump. "Ay-yiyiyiyiyiyi...yiii...," the
android's voice dropped a little, "yiii...yiii..yiioo...yo..yoyoyo..." His
voice took on a Brooklynish accent.
Billy sighed and rolled her eyes heavenward. "Was it necessary to rip
off Mary Shelly?"
Well...yeah.
The little robot, meanwhile, swung his legs off the table, and sat up.
*poke* That's your cue, guys.
Billy and ZeoBilly looked at each other, shrugged, then cried out at the
top of their lungs, "It's alive! Allliiiiiiiiiive!"
The robot shook his head. "Yo, yo, yo....what happened? I feel like my
head's been used as a soccer ball."
"How much do you remember?" Billy asked, wishing they hadn't had to
replace Alpha's voice circuitry with Sprocket's. But where did that
annoying Brooklyn accent come from? More importantly, how could they get
rid of it?
"Remember? I don't remember nothin', toots, but I know lots of stuff. I
know about the Power Rangers, for instance, but I wouldn't be able to tell
who they are."
"Let's start with introductions, then," Trini suggested. "You're Alpha-
6, Alpha for short. I'm Trini."
"I'm Billy," said Billy and ZeoBilly. "We really need to find a way to
distinguish our names."
"I'm not going by she-Billy," Billy said.
ZeoBilly grinned. "Neither would I. Some of the guys have been calling
me ZeoBilly. I can handle being called that."
"That's great, youse got that all settled. Are youse Power Rangers?"
"Ummmm," answered Trini. "Officially...we retired last year.
Unofficially, yes."
"Huh?"
Billy tried to clarify. "After we graduated high school, Zordon made us
retire, but two cats gave us new powers and made us the Ranger Scouts. So
we're unofficially still the Power Rangers."
Alpha shook his head. "That doesn't make too much sense."
"We know."
The Rangers gathered in the Command Center early the next morning.
(Billy, ZeoBilly, and Trini spent the night in the Command Center.) "So
this is Alpha-6?". Jason looked him over critically. "Nice job. He looks
just like he used to."
"Yo, how can *all* o' you be Rangers? My knowledge banks say there can
only be six at one time."
Tommy scratched her head. "Let's see if we can get this straight. Six
of us, Kim, Adam, Billy, Trini, Ayesha, and Jason, are Ranger Scouts. The
rest of us use the Ninjetti powers we got from Ninjor. Except me...I've
been trying to stay out of fights." She smiled slightly.
"Hmmmmm...well, if that's all the introductions," Trini looked for any
challengers, "I need to make some travel arrangements to get to Hawaii."
"What," Demetria asked, "would you be doing in Hawaii?"
"I'm entering a martial arts surfing contest."
"Would that make you derelict in your duties as a Ranger?"
The Rangers looked at each other. "I don't see why. We can teleport
back here if there's any trouble."
"Are you all going?"
There was another paused as the Rangers considered this. "Um, yeah."
Trini, Billy, and ZeoBilly teleported directly to Billy's lab, or in this
case, what was left of it. It took a few moments for them to realize they
were, indeed, in the lab and not in one of Zed's infamous pocket dimensions.
"Wha-- What hit this place?" Trini asked.
"A cyclone, maybe?" Billy and ZeoBilly said.
A glimmer of glass in the wreckage caught Trini's eye. She bent over to
examine it, then noticed where it came from. "Uh-oh...." She held up the
curved glass, which was once a dome. "Zed and Rita are free."
Billy looked up from her survey of the total damage. "Who could have
done this? Who could have gotten in past my alarm system?"
"The same person who sabotaged Alpha?" ZeoBilly suggested.
"I don't think so," Trini said. "Look at the dust on the shelves - those
are paw prints."
Billy sighed wearily, and began cleaning up the mess. She looked closely
at the prints on the shelves before replacing them. "They look like cat
prints. How did it get in? All the windows are shut."
"Probably that open door." ZeoBilly did a quick double take. "Open
door?"
"Open door?" Trini and Billy echoed.
"Ok, this is getting weird," said Trini. "I know that door was closed
before we went to the Juice Bar yesterday."
"Should we tell the others to cancel the trip to Hawaii?" Billy asked.
Trini shook her head. "Not unless you want to call it off. I mean, it'd
be kind of like closing the barn door after the horse is loose."
Billy sat down roughly in the ruins of her lab. "Nothing was stolen, and
if Zed and Rita attack, Demetria can just call us back."
"Okay, then, let's clean this mess up and start packing."
Tommy paused in the midst of packing. "We could just stay here, you
know."
"Well, like, if you don't want to go just say so." Kim had finished his
packing the day before. "I just thought it'd be nice to have a honeymoon
somewhere besides Angel Grove Lake." He grinned. "Not that we saw much of
it, anyway."
Tommy giggled. "Which is how I got into *this* state." She made a vague
gesture at the bulge of her pregnancy.
"I thought that was *why* we had the honeymoon," Kim teased.
Tommy blushed a light pink and decided to change the subject. "I wonder
if Saba would mind sand in his fur?"
On that cue, Saba materialized near the foot of the king sized bed the
three shared. "Sand in my fur?"
"We're going to Hawaii for a martial arts surfing," Tommy explained.
"I really don't think that's wise in your, um, delicate condition, White
Ranger."
"It's all right; I won't be participating. My luck, I'll end up in labor
while in the water."
Kim smiled. "I just wanted a honeymoon where we got out of the room for
more than ten minutes."
"Do you really think this will be it, Pink Ranger?"
Kim chuckled. "No."
"That ought to do it," Jason muttered as she brought the zipper around
the bulging suitcase. "Too bad we can only bring the leather and not the
chains."
"Yeah," said Rocky, a slightly pained expression on his face.
Jason looked up with concern. "Still got that headache?"
Rocky nodded. "I've tried sex, painkillers... It almost feels like I
sprained something."
Jason settled behind Rocky and began massaging his temples. "Poor thing.
Want to try sex some more?"
"You read my mind."
Adam and Ayesha munched popcorn while cuddled together in their bed,
watching the television. They watched a video of brightly colored spandex-
clad heroes fighting rubbery-looking villains. "So this is what our
adventures got turned into by the Japanese? It's so silly," Ayesha
commented.
Adam nodded vaguely. "Just those Zords. Why would we have *cars* for
Zords?"
"That White Ranger is a hottie, though. She could give Tommy a run for
her money."
"Hey! What about me?"
Ayesha put his arms around Adam, chuckling softly. "Silly, there is no
comparison."
The Rangers filtered into the airport terminal in twos, with the
exception of Zack, who arrived alone, and the trio of Billy, ZeoBilly, and
Trini. They made their way through the normal check-in procedures and
waited for their flight in the airport lounge. By a strange coincidence, it
looked exactly like the Juice Bar - right down to Lt Stone at the bar.
The Rangers looked around collectively. "Did we just step into a warp or
something," Billy whispered.
"Hi, guys, " Lt Stone said. "I thought I'd see you off. This is the
Juice Bar's airport franchise."
The Ranger stared at Lt Stone in stunned silence. "The Juice Bar is a
franchise?" Tommy finally asked.
"Sure. You never noticed?" He passed around a platter of color coded
juice blends.
"I did think it was kind of odd there weren't any fast-food places in
town," Trini commented as she picked up her glass.
"Flight 37...now boarding...at Gate 3," came the announcement in a deep,
slurred voice.
The Rangers said their goodbyes to Lt Stone as they replaced their
glasses on the bar. On their way out of the lounge, Jason whispered to
Rocky, "Was it just me or did that guy sound like he was on a bit too much
Valium?"
Tommy, who walked just in front of them, chuckled. "At least he's not
the pilot."
The flight to Hawaii was relatively uneventful, with the exceptions of
the Rangers all trying to join the Mile High Club. One poor passenger,
waiting for the lavatory saw Trini, Billy, and ZeoBilly come out looking
very dissheveled. He looked at the retresting forms, then entered the tiny
room. He spent the rest of his flight trying to figure out what position
they could possibly have been in....
The Rangers checked into two rooms at the Bates Motel in Honolulu; Billy,
ZeoBilly, Trini, Jason, and Rocky in one room; Kim, Tommy, Zack, Ayesha, and
Adam in the other. There was discussion about giving Kim and Tommy their
own room since they were married, but two rooms were more economical than
three, nine was really too many for one room, and Tommy probably wouldn't be
interested in fooling around so close to term, anyway.
The hotel was crowded with tournament entries, which surprised the
Rangers quite a bit. Not that they were staying there (the tournament was
being held at the hotel's beach), but that there were so many of them.
Trini almost immediately went down to the check-in desk to look up her
cousin, who had yet to arrive.
The Rangers had a few days before the tournament. Tests of the water
temperature (known as swimming) showed that Trini would find the contest
particularly difficult. The other Rangers spent their time doing the
tourist thing,going to see all the most popuar sights.
Trini sat atop the trio's umbrella, singing annoyedly...she had just
finished another attempt at surfing. ZeoBilly, wearing only a pair of blue
swim trunks was off fetching some hot water. "Are you sure you want to go
through with this?" Billy asked from beneath the umbrella.
Trini's reply was more singing, which was too impolite to be translated.
A large shadow suddenly loomed out of nowhere, or at least it seemed so
to Billy, who had her eyes closed against the tropical sun. "Growf," it
said.
Billy opened both eyes to see a giant panda standing over her, holding a
sign with "Got any bamboo?" written in Japanese kanji. "Growf," it
repeated.
"Um, I'm sorry, I don't have any," Billy said, while one part of her mind
mulled over the fact she was talking to a panda.
Just then, a red haired girl walked up to the panda, carrying a tea
kettle. She was an attractive girl, her hair in a single braid down her
back, and wearing a skimpy two-piece bathing suit. She muttered something
angrily in Japanese, then noticed Billy. "Konban-wa...I mean, hello," she
said in a heavy Japanese accent. "I hope he has not...bothered you."
"Not at all," Billy replied in Japanese. "Unusual pet."
The girl nodded. "Yeah...real unusual." The panda growfed again, and
began playing with a large beach ball. "Aw, Pop, cut it out."
Pop? Billy thought to herself as ZeoBilly walked towards the little group
with a steaming mug in one hand. He was about to pour the water on Trini,
when he noticed the pig-tailed girl. "Um, hello."
"Hi, ahh, David. This is...," Billy looked at the girl and continued in
Japanese, "What's your name?"
"I'm Ranma...Ranma Saotome."
"My name's Billy Cranston, this is my brother, David."
ZeoBilly bowed. "Nice to meet you."
Meanwhile, Trini was singing fratically. Finally, she'd had enough and
dove into ZeoBilly's mug. ZeoBilly found himself unexpectedly holding a
naked Trini in his arms. Billy very calmly reached behind her and pulled
out a yellow bikini for her to put on.
Ranma blinked twice. "Tr-Trini? You found the cursed springs, too?"
"Could someone explain all this?" the Billys said.
Trini finished adjusting her straps. "This is Ranma Saotome, my Japanese
cousin. Last I knew, though, she was a he."
"I still am!" Ranma hit the panda with the tea kettle. "What a stupid
father!"
"That's Uncle Genma?"
"It's a long story."
The Blue Stranger put the finishing touches on his latest invention.
Okay, it was his first invention...he'd been working on it for awhile. It
looked an awful lot like the Power Cannon the Rangers once used...probably
because it *was* the Power Cannon the Rangers once used. Rob found it while
trying to look for the boundaries of Angel Grove Park.
"Guys, we're going to Hawaii!" Susan announced. "Kevin Sorbo's making a
personal appearance!"
"Urgh," Robert muttered from under the Black Widow. "That's a long and
expensive trip. Not to mention a silly reason."
Susan pouted, "We can use the MegaUltraWeirdoZord to get there. We could
camp out in it,too, come to think of it."
"Who's Kevin Sorbo?" Gwen asked.
"Hercules," Chris answered.
"Oh." Gwen returned to her computer world.
"Anyway," Chris said, "this sounds like a thinly veiled plot device."
"No it isn't. There's going to be a sci-fi con this weekend. Which is
why Kevin Sorbo will be there."
"Well, that's a bit -"
"It's finally finished!" Rob exclaimed, beaming. "The Polymorpher
Cannon!"
"Ooo, our Billy type finally made something," Susan smirked.
"Hey," Chris interjected. "I thought *I* was the Billy type around
here."
"Sorry, he asked first."
Rob waited with patience for the arguments to stop. "Would anyone like
to hear what this does?"
"Gee," Robert said, "I can't possibly think of what something named the
'Polymorpher Cannon' would do."
"No need to be so sarcastic."
"Let's take it with us to Hawaii. Ought to cause all *sorts* of mayhem."
Susan chuckled quietly.
The other Rangers were visiting Hawaii Volcanoes National Park after a
brief flight to the island of Hawaii. They managed to lose the rest of their
group, an odd assortment of Japanese tourists, and wandered around the
forested area of the park. As they were trying to find them again, a glint
of *something* caught Zack's eye. "Hey, guys. Come over here."
The group wandered in the direction of the glint, and discovered a kudzu
covered...mound. Rocky reached up and pulled some of the vine away,
revealing gleaming metal underneath. Soon, they were all climbing the thing
and pulling off vines. Eventually a giant, robotic lion sat majestically in
the midst of the forest. "Cool," Kim said, "a new Zord."
"Come on," Jason said, "let's climb inside. Too bad Billy or Billy isn't
here. One of them could tell us about this thing." Six of the seven
Rangers climbed up the lion's leg to its mouth (Tommy stayed behind).
Inside the beast's cockpit, they found a small green suit. The controls
all looked as though they had been used recently despite the rampant growth
of vines on the outside. Zack noticed a small metal oval with a projection
on it was in the seat. It looked like a key. Rocky was looking over her
shoulder. "I wonder where that goes?"
Zack shrugged. "Looks like it might fit in this slot." She put it in a
shallow depression above the controls. "Aw, it's not wide - " The oval
expanded and and the controls lit up. "Whoah...what'd I do?"
"I think you found where the key goes," Rocky answered as the rest of the
Rangers gathered 'round. "Let's see if you can get this thing to go."
Zack pulled back on the controls that resembled a steering wheel.
Outside, the lion roared and leaped into the sky, leaving Tommy to wonder
how in blazes she was supposed to catch up. "Hey," said Zack. "This isn't
so different from piloting a zord." She made a few loop maneuvers before
landing back at the lion's original position, landing it in a sphinx-like
position.
"Climb on up," Zack's voice echoed over the external speakers. "Kim's
on his way out to help."
With some difficulty, Tommy managed to make her way inside the lion
robot. She whistled appreciatively. "Nice. Better than Zordon's work."
"Now, if only we had three more," Rocky muttered wistfully.
"There might be," Adam said. "Remember that uniform we found? We should
let Billy do their mind-meld with this thing and find out its story."
Ranma and Genma, back in their normal forms, listened as Trini, Billy,
and ZeoBilly told their story while the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. The
father and son pair had shared their own story hours before. Ranma blinked
twice with a little bink noise, "And I thought my life was bad. All I got
stuck with was a bunch of unwanted fiancees."
"What was that?!" Cold water materialized from out of a bucket held by
an Asian girl with short hair and a very angry expression. "You're lucky
any girl at all wants you!" She noticed Billy and ZeoBilly (Trini was
currently stuck in her nightingale form). "Who's this? Arranging for
another fiancee? Ranma, you jerk!" The girl pulled out a hammer from
*somewhere* and hit Ranma over the head.
"You must be Akane," Billy and ZeoBilly said. "We're with Trini, Ranma's
cousin." They indicated the little bird on Billy's shoulder. "I'm Billy
Cranston," they both said.
Akane cooled down as fast as she arrived. "What?"
A large shadow from overhead belonging to a very large, leonid robot cut
off any answer. It landed with only a small sandstorm nearby. A green and
white uniformed figure slid down the lion's leg and came running toward
them. "Biiiiiiill-yyyyyyyyy! We've got a mystery for you guys to solve!"
it shouted.
Billy pushed her glasses up her nose and looked at ZeoBilly. "Jinkies."
"Would somebody explain what's going on?"
"That's a *real* long story, Akane," Ranma answered.
Meanwhile, the green-uniformed figure reached the little group and
removed its helmet. "Zack? What is all this about?"
Zack grinned, "We found this robot in the forest. We want you to check
it out." She finally noticed Akane, Ranma, and the panda. "Oh, hello."
"This is Zack, a teammate of ours," ZeoBilly said in Japanese as the rest
of the Rangers made their way to the impromptu gathering. "The couple in
the back are Kim and Tommy. Ayesha is the guy in yellow, holding Adam's
hand. Rocky and Jason are the ones racing here." Switching to English, he
continued, "The red-head is Ranma, Trini's cousin. The other is Akane, his
fiancee." The panda growfed, and held up a sign. "Oh, and the panda is
Ranma's father, Genma."
"Where's Trini?" Jason, winner of the race asked. In response, Trini
flew over to ZeoBilly, again diving for the hot water.
"Right there," Billy said. "I'm going to see if I can talk with the
lion."
ShadowKitty watched the meeting of East and West from the top of a nearby
sand dune. For some reason, digging in the sand wasn't as fun as it used to
be, so she settled for basking in the sunlight. She was still half cat,
after all. The sounds of human voices got the attention of her sharp ears.
Rita scrambled up the dune, still in her full costume. What was that
darn cat up to now? Rita needed her abilities to spy on the humans, and she
was out here napping. She growled slightly to herself. Why did they keep
that cat in the first place?
Kitty's ears swiveled back as far as they would go, giving her an owl-
like appearance. She reached back and pulled Rita to the sand. Rita nearly
shouted a protest, until she saw the Rangers on the beach with a new Zord.
This was not good.
"Kitty, attack," she whispered.
"All by myself? I don't think so."
Rita made a gesture with her wand, summoning a flock of Tengu in a flurry
of raven feathers. Kitty immediately put her ears back and hissed at them.
"These are Tengu warriors, not hors d'ourves," Rita growled. "Now, go."
"Oh, all right." Kitty vanished. She had no flashy teleport, she just
disappeared.
The White Stranger wandered through the merchant's tables of the con.
She couldn't believe they missed Sorbo's appearance by an hour! Lousy time
zones.... The other Strangers milled around the various other rooms; the
Black and Blue Strangers checked out a table of old role playing games.
Susan stopped at a table with swords. Oooo, sharp pointy things. She
looked over some of the European style weapons, then a katana caught her
eye. She unsheathed it, examining its quality.
"The blade's brightness is nothing compared to your beauty, red haired
girl." The voice's owner stepped from behind her to the side. "Greetings,
I am Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, age 17."
Susan raised an eyebrow, and put the katana down. "I think I'll take the
Claymore."
The young man continued on blithely, ignoring the red haired girl testing
the heft of the sword. She suddenly grinned at him and grabbed him by his
blue kimono. She led him offstage, where lots of bone crunching and 'ow'ing
sounds could be heard but were safe from any censors. Susan joined the two
Strangers at the RPG table. Kuno, looking much battered and bruised,
spotted another red haired girl with a pony tail.
Billy and ZeoBilly investigated the new 'lion zord' while the others got
acquainted. "Weren't you with that volcano tour earlier?" Jason asked
Akane. Fortunately, an unseen universal translator was now in use.
"Why, yes. I was with my family. You must be the group that separated
off from us in the woods."
At about that moment, a flock of Tengu arrived with a squawk and a cloud
of black feathers. The Rangers immediately dropped into combat positions in
a tight circle facing outwards. Ranma, Genma, and Akane just looked
confused.
Kitty stepped out of a convenient Shadow and posed dramatically in front
of the largest cluster of Tengu. "Hi, Rangers. Want to play?"
"Not with you, fur for brains!" Jason replied.
"Too bad," purred the cat as she threw a ball of yarn at the group. The
sand beneath their feet exploded, sending the Rangers flying in all
directions. "We still want to play with you. Okay, birdies, your turn!"
The Tengu each stalked a victim, even Tommy. The combatants circled each
other, in an odd parody of a square dance, looking for weaknesses. One of
the Tengu struck at Jason, hitting her in the shoulder as she tried to
dodge. Another knocked Zack to the sand. Rocky jumped high in the air to
kick his opponent, only to find it flying above him to land a kick of its
own. Ranma was busy dodging the blows his opponent launched at him, and
managed to land a few of his own. Akane was doing well, but the Tengu
facing her just wouldn't *stay* down. Meanwhile, Shadow stood in the
background occasionally throwing more yarnball grenades.
After one partiicularly nasty grenade, Kim found himself on top of Tommy.
"I know there are civiliains with us, but we really need to use our powers,"
he whispered.
Tommy sighed. "All right. Maybe Trini's relatives will have a
convenient bout of amnesia."
Kim stood up and announced in a loud voice, "All right, Tengu, you've
had it! We are the Ranger Scouts, here to right wrongs and triumph over
evil! Moon...prism...power!"
The other Rangers followed suit. The Tengu stopped fighting, and began
tapping their feet waiting for the Rangers to finish their transformation
sequences. Ranma, Genma, and Akane took the opportunity to trash the bird
creatures. Shadow decided it was time to cut her losses and teleported
away.
"What is going on here?" Ranma demanded to know.
"What were those things?" Akane asked.
"Well," Trini said, "This is sort of what I was trying to tell you about
earlier. Those things work for Zed and Rita. Somehow they found us here."
"Like they always do," Billy noted. She and ZeoBilly managed to rush
from the green lion in time to miss the entire fight. "Well, we finished
our investigation of that so called zord."
"What did you find out?" Tommy asked.
ZeoBilly tried to adjust his glasses, forgetting about his contacts.
"The lion is one of five that make up a larger robot named 'Voltron'."
"Voltron was loved by all good people and feared by evil," Billy
continued.
"Apparently the Voltron Force was made almost entirely of Earthers. They
brought Voltron here and hid the lions once they defeated the threat of a
being known as Zarkon."
"The lions are hidden in places that relate to their elements. That's
why the Green Lion was found in the woods. The Red would be in a volcano,
the Blue under water, the Yellow in sand or under ground, and the Black
anywhere it was exposed to the sky." Billy took a breath. "These could be
a valuable replacement for our lost Zords."
"It's likely the other four lions are in the same area as the Green. The
Yellow and Blue could be in any beach...the Red in a nearby volcano. The
Black one will be the most difficult to find."
Tommy sat on the beach blanket to consider. Meanwhile, Ranma shook her
head. "I'm still not sure what's going on, but I don't wanna get involved.
It just gets me into trouble. C'mon, Akane."
The Japanese trio had turned to leave, when a loud cry of "Ranma!
Akane!" came from somewhere in the sky followed by the appearnce of a gnome
attached to Ranma's chest.
"Ranma, my boy!" The gnome looked up and at all the assembled Rangers;
his eyes went wide. "Ohhhhhh...who have we here?" He immediately attached
himself to Trini's bosom.
Trini looked down at the dirty old man and screamed, "Auuugh!
Getitoffame!" She promptly punted him into the sky. She turned to Ranma.
"What...was...*that*?"
Ranma sighed. "Happosai. He's the founder of the Anything-Goes
technique, besides being a pervert." She, Akane, and Genma resumed their
departure.
Tommy waited for the three to leave, then sighed softly. "We need
some way to find those other Zords. We'll split up. "Billy, ZeoBilly,
and Trini -- you look for the Blue. Jason, you and Rocky look for the Red
one. Ayesha and Adam will search for the Yellow lion, while Kim and I look
for the Black one. Zack, you stay with the Green one."
"Considering the time, perhaps we should wait til tomorrow and make plans
tonight?" Billy suggested.
Tommy nodded. "Good idea. Now where can we stow this lion? We can't
leave it here."
The Strangers were camped out in the MegaWeirdZord on the other side of
the island. "Amazing no one has noticed us here," Susan said. "Must be the
Angel Grove effect."
"Aaaaugh! It's spreading!" Chris cried.
Susan nodded sadly. "I should never have let them leave California."
The Rangers left the Green Lion in a parking lot near the hotel. No one
noticed.
The Rangers set out at dawn to begin their search, Trini grumbling on
the way. The competition was for the next day, and she hadn't figured a
way around the curse. She, Billy, and ZeoBilly had the daunting task of
searching the beaches for the Blue Lion. Fortunately, during the night,
Billy and ZeoBilly made a device that tracked the unique energy signature of
the power crystal of the Green Lion. They reasoned the other crystals
would have a similar signature.
"Good thing we made enough of these to pass around," Billy remarked
as the trio walked along one of the less popular beaches. "It's not too
much help, though. Not enough range."
ZeoBilly nodded absently. "There wasn't enough time to figure out a
sattelite uplink. Are you getting anything at all?"
"No. On to the next beach?"
Billy nodded then glanced at Trini. "Are you all right?"
Trini shook her head. "I just can't think of anything short of a
wetsuit for tomorrow! A wetsuit? That would work." She kissed ZeoBilly
and Billy in turn. "Thanks, guys!"
Jason and Rocky started their search in the National Park where they
found the Green Lion. Rocky squinted at the readout of the blue device in
his hand. "I think I've got something here. It's faint, but I think it's
coming from that volcano." He pointed.
Jason followed and sighed. "How are we supposed to get it? *I'm* not
going in there."
Adam and Ayesha roamed a beach on the opposite side of the island from
the Billys and Trini. Ayesha held the lion detector in his hand. He sighed,
"We're going to have to walk all the way around this island before we
finally find it."
"Well, we'll have to find it sooner or later. The island isn't that big."
Ayesha quirked an eyebrow. "Why do you think they call it the Big
Island?"
"I don't know..." She sighed. "At least the others have as big a task as
we do."
"Good point."
Kim and Tommy, meanwhile, rented a helicopter and had the pilot fly
slowly over the entire island. "How are we going to know which is the one
we're looking for?" Kim shouted over the din.
"Billy said ours would probably be in the city," Tommy shouted back. She
grinned from ear to ear and pointed at a small estate on the ground.
"There! I'm getting a signal from that area!"
"That's the Kuno estate," the pilot supplied. "The people who live there
are nuts. I'd stay away if I were you."
"Thanks for the warning, but I think we'll have to go there anyway. Could
you fly us over it, kind of close to the ground?"
The pilot nodded unconciously. "Sure, but not too close...I've heard
stories of flying people around that place."
"Uhhh...right."
The helicopter circled around to the estate, then lowered slowly to about
100 feet up. Kim pointed excitedly. "Look! The lion statue at the front
gate!" The statue was of a large lion. It stood on two pedestals, actually
forming the top of the gate and looked outwards to the street. Their view
was suddenly obscured by the form of a Japanese teenage girl in a gymnastics
outfit, trailing black rose petals leaping by on her way to a nearby rooftop.
"I'm gettin' outta here," the pilot muttered and brought the helicopter
back up and out over the city.
The Rangers clustered together in one of the rooms they shared at the
Bates Motel. "Anyone have any luck?" Billy asked.
"We searched beaches for five hours and didn't finda thing," ZeoBilly
sighed.
"About what we did," Adam said.
"We found the red one," Rocky said, "but it's kind of *inside* a volcano."
"We found ours, too," Kim said. "We can probably get it easily, if we're
sneaky about it."
"We can't do that!" Adam gasped. "We're Power Rangers!"
"But I think I *can* rig up a remote control device," Billy said quietly.
ZeoBilly nodded. "Shouldn't be too hard. The technology isn't too
different from the zords', really."
"I've still got the one I made for Zordon. I bet we could modify it, and
it would only take a few settings adjustments."
Tommy nodded. "Get on it, then. We can get the two we found, and
continue the search for the others tomorrow."
Billy had the remote reconfigured in a few hours. It now looked amazingly
like a remote for a toy car, but with a small television in its center. And
it was blue. ZeoBilly had one as well and the two simultaneously worked on
getting the Red and Black lions to the hotel, where no one continued to
notice the Green one.
"Can't we just use these remotes to find the others?" Trini asked.
"No. We have to know where they are first," ZeoBilly said.
"The devices we use to detect them give us more accurate readings on them.
Otherwise, we'd only be able to control the Green one," Billy explained.
Soon, the two had the new lions parked next to the Green. Still no one
noticed.
The next day was the day of the Martial Arts Surfing Competition. Of the
Rangers, Trini, ZeoBilly, and Ayesha signed up. A few of the Japanese
tourists, including Ranma (who was already in girl-form), were also there as
well as assorted locals. Trini wore a yellow wetsuit (complete with mask)
in hopes of avoiding being hit by the water.
The rest of the Rangers gathered in a knot on the beach to cheer their
friends on. The Strangers were there as well, hiding behind a convenient
sand dune. "Are you sure you can set the thing like I said?" Susan asked.
Rob nodded. "Yes, I just need to adjust a few settings."
"Urm," said Chris. "Do we really want to be in the area when this goes
off?"
"No...we'll need to add a timer."
Zed and Rita watched from another convenient sand dune (there were a lot
of them around). Well, Zed watched, while Rita pushed Shadow towards the
contest area. "I don't want to! I hate water!"
"How else can we destroy the Rangers? Now get out there!"
"I don't care...I'm not going in the water."
Zed shoved a surfboard towards Shadow. "Go on," he growled. "Now is the
perfect time to attack."
"Have you ever been in a wet fur coat? It's not fun."
Zed gestured at her with his staff. A bolt of energy enveloped Shadow
and she stood in human form. "Aaaaaaaaaagh!"
"Now you don't have that problem. Go out there, if you want to be feline
again."
Shadow glared at Zed, but headed towards the beach, where the contest was
getting underway.
A makeshift stage marked the area of beach where the tournament would take
place. The contestants gathered in a row and waited for the signal to begin.
Other than Trini, some of the odder participants included a shriveled old
woman on a stick, a giant panda, and a woman carrying a giant spatula.
The announcer walked up to the microphone. "Does everyone know the
rules? Last person still on their board wins." There was a collective
nodding of heads in reply. "Good. Now, have a good fight...Go!"
The combatants swarmed towards the water, towards the swells that would
soon form into waves. A couple of the contestants wiped out early,
misjudging how the waves would form. Trini faced off against the girl with
the spatula and held her own despite the wetsuit's encumburance. Ayesha did
well against his opponent, a local man built like a sumo wrestler. ZeoBilly,
on the other hand, faced off against the old woman on the stick.
The fight's outcome was never in question. The old woman rapped ZeoBilly
with her stick several times before he could even react. "C'mon, sonny boy,
can't handle an old woman?" ZeoBilly hopped onto the woman's board, trying
to land a jump-kick; she just chuckled at him and tapped him on the forehead.
The next thing he knew, he was under the water and landed on something hard.
ZeoBilly opened his eyes and stared at a giant lion's mouth. The Blue
Lion! He swum quickly into it, looking for the entrance into the cockpit.
Once found, he worked the controls, launching the lion out of the water and
towards the beach. Unfortunately, the contest was still going on.
Surfboards and martial artists went flying in random directions. ZeoBilly
watched through his monitor. "Oops."
Ayesha managed to land on one of the convenient sand dunes, which had an
oddly sphinx-like outline to it. The impact crater he made revealed a
metallic yellow underneath. More digging revealed an access hatch, and he
slipped inside.
Just as the convenient dunes the Strangers and Zed and Rita were hiding
behind began to shift, the Strangers leaped en masse into the mess, yelling,
"Death from above!" Most of the mundanes who were left on the beach left
at this point. They gathered in the middle of the beach with a large, tube
shaped cannon then teleported away as quickly as they'd arrived.
While everyone was trying to figure out that strange turn of events,
Shadow (back in feline form) popped out of the sand with a flock of Tengu
warriors. "All right, Rangers!" She glanced down at a cue card. "Now's
your time to wipe out! Geez, who comes up with this?"
A large, metallic paw slapped down on the beach, missing Shadow by a
whisker. The cat rolled to one side and looked up to see both the Yellow
and Blue lions facing towards her. Zed and Rita crossed staves. And there
was a bright flash of light. Too bad these were unrelated.
The tube cannon spun around, firing at random. The first two shots hit
Zed and Rita, changing them into a pair of parrots. Another blast hit
Genma-panda, who became a raccoon. The rest of those still an the beach
dove for cover, trying to escape similar fates. Shadow looked around.
"That's it, I'm leaving." She disappeared into a nearby shadow just as the
Tengu immediately behind her became a coconut tree.
Billy crept towards the device, intending to reverse the polarity. She
crawled through the sand, ducking down as far as she could. She thought
she had almost reached the cannon when one of the blasts finally hit her,
and the cannon was suddenly far out of reach.
The bolts that hit the lions reflected off the metal, adding to the mayhem
on the beach. "Should we destroy it?" Ayesha asked.
"We can't. Otherwise we can't change anyone back," ZeoBilly answered.
"Give Billy a..." He saw the bolt hit his counterpart in the sand.
"...chance."
Billy finally reached the device without being hit again, and climbed
to the top of it. She managed to use her paws to turn off the slowly
spinning cannon. Once the thing stopped shooting, she looked around at the
aftermath. Few managed to escape the polymorphing cannon's effects, and of
those changed, it was impossible to tell who was who.
Tommy, one who managed to escape the blasts, wandered over to the cannon,
not noticing the white mouse on top. Ayesha and ZeoBilly rushed towards her
from their lions. Billy jumped to ZeoBilly's shoulder and squeaked.
ZeoBilly nodded. "Give it to me so I can reverse the polarity."
Tommy handed over the device. "Don't tell me you understood that squeak?"
ZeoBilly pulled a Swiss Army knife from one of his pockets and began
fiddling with the cannon. "Of course I did." He petted the top of Billy's
head. "But we have very similar thought processes."
Trini, the only other to escape the polymorphing cannon wandered over to
the knot of humans. "Can you fix this mess?"
ZeoBilly closed the panel he had been working on. "I should, if I
understand this correctly." He leveled the cannon and fired at a horse that
immediately became a Tengu warrior.
"Zed doesn't pay me enough for this!" it squawked and flew off.
"Now for the rest..." He wandered from animal to animal, firing the
polymorphing cannon at it. Within a few minutes, everyone was back to
normal, or as normal as they got...with a minor exception.
Rita and Zed, now recovered, shook their staves at the Rangers. "We'll
get you, my pretties, and your little robot, too!" Rita declared before the
villains teleported out of sight.
The minor exception, Billy (she was still on ZeoBilly's shoulder) cocked
her head and squeaked. ZeoBilly grinned. "I guess they don't know we have
Alpha-6 and not Alpha-2. Well, what now?"
"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Trini asked.
"Am I?" Billy chittered and bit ZeoBilly on the ear. "You're right."
He set the mouse on the sand and fired the cannon one last time, returning
Billy to human form.
"What now? This seems so anti-climatic somehow." Billy commented.
Tommy winced. "I'm going to the hospital. You and Jason figure out how
to split the team."
Zed and Rita regrouped in their lunar castle. "Try and use an intelligent
creature, and look where it gets us," Zed grumbled. "We're no closer now to
getting rid of those accursed Rangers, and now they've got Zords again."
Rita looked up from her telescope. "We should have learned from that
Stranger debacle."
Zed growled to himself and spun around on his throne. "Well, we'll be
back...we'll always be back."
Rita shuddered. Now there was something to look forward to.
The Rangers gathered around Tommy in her hospital bed a few days later.
She held her daughter in her arms, who looked at the world through blue eyes.
Tommy smiled proudly. "Her name is Sabrina."
The group took turns cooing, making faces, and other such things to the
baby until a nurse took her back to the nursery. Tommy pushed a stray lock
of hair out of her face. "How'd you guys manage to split the team?"
ZeoBilly looked at a small scrap of paper. "Adam is taking the Black
lion, since he has to give the Tuxedo Mask role back to you. I'm going to be
in the Blue one, Zack in the Green, Rocky in the Red, and we've got someone
new to be in the Yellow one."
Tommy blinked in suprise. "Really? Who?"
A Japanese teenager stepped forward. "I am...my name is Ranma Saotome."