YOU GUESSED IT, IT'S ONE MORE FESTERING SPAWN OF THE MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS MEET THE TATTOOED TEENAGE ALIEN FIGHTERS FROM BEVERLY HILLS WITH SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE BY THE SUPERHUMAN SAMURAI SYBER SQUAD: THE MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS MEET POWER RANGERS ZEO? DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN King Mondo growled unhappily. "No matter what we do, we can't seem to get rid of those blasted Rangers. Shrink them, blow them up, send them back in time... Wait, that was Zedd.... I'm running out of ideas." Queen Machina fluttered her fan across her face. Her husband was falling into these foul moods more often, and she didn't know how much longer she could prevent their son from witnessing such spectacles. Klank walked into the room, and bowed before the royal couple. "Yuir majesty, I think I've got a solution to the Power Rangers." "What?! Tell us, and it had better *work* this time." "That's jus' it, yuir majesty. It's nae that our plans don't work; it's that friend of theirs that always figures a way out of them." Mondo harumphed, an effect only royalty can pull off effectively. "I fail to see the difference." "I've discovered how t' travel t' other universes. We'll send their friend *there*, and they'll be brainless." Mondo stared at Klank for a long moment. "Why not send *all* the Rangers out of this universe? And we'll use their friend for bait. I'm brilliant! Get to work on it right away!" That night, Billy decided to walk back home, instead of teleporting directly there. The chill night air and brisk walk ought to help clear his mind. He was working on a reality transfer device, but the precise equation to access other universes still eluded him. He turned the corner onto Mockingbird Lane, on his way to number 1313, and was surrounded by cogs. He immediately dropped into a combat stance, but the cogs had him surrounded. Two grabbed him from behind, and held him still. One of the cogs aimed some sort of rifle-shaped device at him, and the world went black. *** The Rangers sat in the beach cafe extension of Ernie's Juice Bar. Emily took their orders with a wink and smile to Jason. "Have any of you guys heard from Billy lately?" Tommy asked. Adam shook his head. "Last I heard, he was still working on that special project from the Gold Ranger mystery. He said he didn't want to tell what it was until he could get it to work." "You mean he's not even getting help from Alpha?" Tommy was getting concerned. Billy was closer to the little robot than any of his human friends, lately. And if he was hiding something from even Alpha... ***BREET-DEE-DEET-DA-DEET-DEE*** "Yeah...what is it, Zordon?" Tommy whispered into his communicator, leaning over it. "Come to the Power Chamber at once," Zordon boomed. The six aging teenagers made their way to an empty patch of sand, and teleported. "Oh, Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi! Rangers! Thank goodness you're here!" The little robot nearly danced in place. "We have terrible news." "What is it? What's wrong?" Kat looked from Alpha to Zordon for an answer. "Today is the day I have feared the most. As you know, Billy has been gone frequently of late. Now, he is missing." "I scanned out as far as the sensors will allow." Alpha hung his head. "He's not on the planet, not even in this solar system." "What? How is that possible?" Adam asked, a note of terror in his voice. The Viewing Globe crackled to life, and the image of King Mondo appeared. "Greetings, Rangers. I bet you're all wondering by now what happened to your little friend?" "Mondo!" Jason growled. "We should have known it was you behind all this. What'd you do to him?" "Nothing I won't be doing to all of you." Mondo chuckled. The screen faded to a night scene; Billy walking along and being attacked by the cogs. The Rangers collectively gasped when the laser beam hit Billy: he glowed briefly, then disappeared. Mondo reappeared. "As I'm broadcasting this, cogs are planting the devices necessary to do the same to your entire Command Center and Power Chamber! Muahahahahahahaha!!" The last thing the Rangers saw was a flash of bright light. *** Billy lay on the sidewalk, not moving. Okay, he thought, it was a hallucination brought on by lack of sleep. He managed to pull himself into a standing position. He *felt* like he'd been in the fight of his life, though. Good thing Dad's away on business in Gotham, Billy thought. He'd probably ground me for life for staying out all hours of the night. Not that he gets in early himself... Lamont Cranston seemed to spend most of his time in Gotham, lately, anyway. Billy didn't mind; it gave him more freedom to work on projects for the ZeoRangers. He staggered to his house, and fished around for his keys a few minutes. He wandered through the living room, and to his bedroom, not bothering to turn on the lights. He left his clothes in a pile and climbed into bed, asleep even before his head hit the pillow. Trini stirred from her sleep. There was someone in bed with them, she was sure. She gingerly reached out her hand, careful not to wake Billy cuddled next to her. Human...male... She reached behind her for the small flashlight beside her bed. She turned on the beam, and aimed for the interloper. She blinked several times, and pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. It was Billy? She must have let the light drop some, because soon Billy was squinting her eyes. "Trini...it's too early in the morning for that. I'm still tired." She rolled over, and got a good look at ZeoBilly lying next to them. She sighed. "Oh, great. I've finally snapped." "You see him, too? But you just might be part of my dream." "I hope this is your dream. I don't want to spend my life in an insane asylum. Or maybe we're his dream." She reached out and pinched the man's arm. "Owww..." ZeoBilly rolled over, and opened his eyes. "Trini? Who's this other girl, and what are you doing in my bed?" "This is my bed," Billy stated flatly. "And Trini lives with me." ZeoBilly scratched his head. "Sorry...thought this was my house. Key worked in the door. It *looks* like my house. Wait a minute. Trini lives with you?" "None of it matters, anyway," Billy yawned. "You're just a figment of my imagination. Everything I suffered as a Power Ranger has finally taken its toll." "Power Ranger? But that's impossible." "Billy, I think he's real." Both Billys looked at Trini. "Huh?" ZeoBilly sat up. "What do you mean by 'real', and why are you calling her 'Billy'? You weren't at the peace conference long enough to forget a childhood friend, were you?" "Huh? I was never at any peace conference." "And she's calling me Billy because I'm Billy Cranston." ZeoBilly flopped back down in the bed. "I think *I'm* the one who's flipped. I've got some imagination to think of me in a lesbian relationship with Trini. How'd it happen?" "Morphing grid sabotage." "Rita? Zed? Master Vile? Mondo?" "Who are Master Vile and Mondo? It was some out of town superheroine." Billy grinned. "And, Rita and Zed are in that snowglobe." She pointed to a shelf in the corner. "Why do I feel like I'm in an alternate universe?" "That would explain a few things." Trini finally turned on the lamp. "I don't think we're getting any more sleep tonight. Let's go out to the kitchen and figure out what's going on." She got out of the bed and started getting dressed, paying no attention to ZeoBilly, who was having a hard time keeping his eyes in his sockets. Billy smirked. "One thing that's consistent across the universes," she muttered. Louder, she said, "I hope we don't talk over the French Vanilla Cafe stuff. It always gets me talking about Jean-Luc. I don't know anyone named Jean-Luc!" *** "So that's both our stories," Billy yawned. "Why can't you use your ninjetti powers? Adam, Zack, and Rocky do." ZeoBilly looked surprised. "For some reason, I never thought of that." "Well, you can stay with us until we figure out how to get you back to your home universe. Alpha's expecting us to visit, anyway. Besides, this is your house, too." Billy yawned again. Trini had already snuck back to their bedroom in the middle of her story. "But for right now, I'm going back to bed." "I guess I can stay on the couch." "Nonsense. If Trini mistakes you for me in her sleep, just throw that cup of cold water I keep by my side of the bed on her. Although, last time I had to do that, she wouldn't speak to me for a week." ZeoBilly was finally getting over the strangeness of sleeping with two females, and relaxing into sleep, when Trini put her arm around him. Trini and Billy had switched places sometime after they got into bed. She pulled up close, and started nibbling his ear. "Trini," he said in a voice barely above a whisper. "Please stop doing that." Trini mutterred something to the effect of, "But it's been four whole hours." She started running her palm over his body, and kissing his face and neck. "Stop, or I'll throw this water on you." Trini just chuckled, and found something else to rub. ZeoBilly reached beside him, groping for the round shape of a glass in the dark. He swung his arm over to where Trini should have been. The angry singing of a nightingale woke Billy. She turned on the lamp beside her, then blinked her eyes until they got used to the light. The bird was flying in circles overhead, and finally came to light on the post at the foot of the bed. "Got too agressive again? I think you should spend the night like that." As Billy continued talking to the little songbird, ZeoBilly looked from one to the other. "Is that...Trini?" Billy nodded. "She fell into a magic spring. When she's hit with cold water she turns into a nightingale. Hot water changes her back. Adam has a similar curse." "What does he turn into?" "A silly-looking moose." Billy yawned, and turned off the lamp beside her. *** In the Power Chamber, the alarm went off belatedly. The Rangers looked around, confused. "What was that?" Rocky asked. "Rangers, all traces of the Machine Empire have vanished. There are no traces of Rita and Zedd, either." "Ay-yi-yi! I'm picking up Billy's signal again! He's at his house." Alpha tapped the sensor console with a plastic finger. "There must be something wrong with the sensors. I'm getting a slightly distorted echo reading." "This is getting *too* weird." Tanya shook her head in confusion. "Getting? This is way past weird, in my book," Tommy said. "Let's see if Billy has any better idea on what's happened." The six teleported to just in front of Billy's house. It would be impolite to teleport in without asking. "Wait a minute, it's morning," Adam observed. "When we left for the Power Chamber, it was afternoon." Tommy squinted at the position of the sun. "Mid-morning, too. We must've been knocked out by whatever Mondo did to us. Ah, well, come on." He walked up to the door of the house and knocked. After a minute or so, the door opened, and a girl with shoulder-length sandy hair greeted them. She wore one of Billy's old shirts, a blue and white plaid, that came down to her mid-thigh, and nothing else. I didn't know Billy had it in him, Tommy thought, But there's something awfully familiar about her. "Come on in, I've been expecting you guys." She held open the door. "I was just getting ready to head to the Command Center." She yawned. "Pardon me, I didn't get much sleep last night. "What are you all staring at?" The Zeo Rangers had all stopped just inside the doorway. Adam took a deep breath. "Billy, is that you?" The girl nodded. No wonder he didn't want to tell us about his secret project. "Billy, have you been experimenting on yourself, again?" Kat asked, so shocked she nearly forgot her Austrailian accent. Tommy drew Billy into a deep embrace. "Man, we've been worried about you. But- I mean, we all knew you were unhappy about losing your powers, but you didn't have to do this to yourself." At that moment, ZeoBilly walked into the living room, and burst out laughing. "I think *I'm* the one you're looking for. But it's nice to know you were so concerned." The ZeoRangers stared as one at the two Billys. Jason finally broke the long silence. "Just *what* is going on here?" "I think I can explain. If you'd let go of me, Tommy?" Trini walked out from the hallway, toweling off her hair, but otherwise unclothed. "Oh, hello. Don't mind me." Jason opened his mouth, but it was a long moment before sound came out. "Trini, why aren't you at the Peace Conference?" The Mightee Moron Powered Strangers gathered in the Command Center. "Okay, you giant, floating head, what do you want? It's before noon, so it had better be good." Susan strode bravely toward the console right in front of Zordon's column. "I want you to be the next Power Rangers," Zordon boomed. The Strangers all winced, and Susan grabbed her ears. "Ow! My ears! I have sensitive hearing, you know." She started pressing buttons in a vain effort to find the volume control. The console crackled with energy, and gave her a relatively mild shock. "Ow!" "The last time someone pressed random buttons, the Rangers all switched sexes. You don't want anything worse to happen, do you?" "Why not?" "Huh?!" "Get away from the column." Chris dragged Susan to a safe distance. "What?!" "So, why should we want to be Power Rangers? We were supposed to *fight* them." Gwen was plainly skeptical. "You will fight for the forces of goodness and truth." Robert crossed his arms. "How much property damage can we do, and how much does the job pay?" "What'd you say?!" Rob, meanwhile, was busy staring at the floor. He thought he saw...a manhole cover? He leaned down and picked it up. "Where does this go?" He peered in, and a perfect copy of the robot leaning over him looked back. "Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!" "Oh, no, not in stereo!" the Strangers exclaimed in a perfect chorus. "As leader," Susan's hearing seemed magically recovered, "I say we leave. This is *too* scary...or maybe just disgusting. Kinda like Barney." The Strangers all teleported away, leaving Zordon, Zordon, Alpha, and Alpha to their mess. The Zeo Rangers, Trini, and Billy sat at the usual table in Ernie's Juice Bar, drinking various frappes. Ritchie manned the bar, while Ernie ran an errand. "So, basically, we're all stuck in an alternate universe where we've all changed sexes and we're in college?" ZeoAdam summarized. "Pretty much." "Is there anything else we should know about?" ZeoRocky asked. "The rest of the Rangers should be getting back to Angel Grove any time, now. And, well, Tommy and Kim were on their honeymoon." ZeoTommy choked on his soda. "Honeymoon?" Kat gave ZeoTommy a cold stare. "You never said you two were *that* close. No wonder you won't go out with me." "It's not that, really, Kat. Uhhh..." Three people walked in through the foyer. The two girls yelled, "Jason! You're back to normal!" They left their male escort, a dead ringer for Michael J. Fox, to stand stupidly in the doorway. The dark-haired, white teenager kissed ZeoJason on one cheek. "I know I dumped you just because you turned into a girl, but we can put that behind us can't we?" The black girl kissed him full on the lips. "It's just sooo nice to see you back to your glorious manhood. I can ditch the mimbo and meet you later tonight to...celebrate." She looked around the table, just now noticing the other assembled teens. "Wow, everybody got changed back but me? But, who are you two?" She pointed to Kat and Tanya. Billy cleared her throat. "Zack, these are Power Rangers from an alternate universe." The blood visibly drained from ZeoJason's face. "Zack? Kissed me?" Lori made a moue. "Alternate....? Well, want to go out, anyway?" "Zack...kissed...me..." Zack sighed. "Another Jason who won't go out with me. At least this one didn't dump me for Goldar." "Zack...kissed me." Ayesha, Adam, Jason, and Rocky walked into the Juice bar two by two. They stopped short upon spying the Zeo Rangers. "Did we make a wrong turn at Alburquerque?" Jason asked. Billy sighed wearily. "Come and join the confusion. Odd how the Juice Bar is completely empty except for Ritchie and us." "Zack kissed me." ZeoTommy, glad to have several distractions from Kat, waved his hand in front of ZeoJason's face. "Man, he's gone." The four Ranger Scouts walked over to the table where the rest sat. Rocky gave Billy an odd look. "Billy, you got some 'splainin' t'do." "Have you been trying to clone us or something?" Ayesha asked. "You didn't do a very good job on me or Kim. He's going to be unhappy about that." "Zack kissed me." "They aren't clones, they're from an alternate universe. If they were clones, they'd look exactly like us. The two girls are Tanya and Kat." "Alternate universe? Is that what you've been working on in your spare time?" Adam asked. "No, it's what *I've* been working on," ZeoBilly answered. "Zack kissed me." Zack and Lori made their way back to Gordon, who was eating a banana split by himself. "How long do you think he'll do that?" Lori wondered. Zack just shrugged. To make the confusion complete, Tommy walked into the Juice Bar with Kim. Tommy immediately headed to the bar. "Give me a chocolate ice cream topped with sweet pickle relish." Kim made a face as Ritchie served Tommy. "How can you stand it?" "It's pretty good, actually. You should try it sometime." She took her ice cream and headed over to where everyone else was sitting. She sat down and started eating. Kim followed, but stayed standing. "Wha-" "They're Rangers from an alternate universe," Billy said. "Oh." ZeoTommy watched Tommy intently. "How can you eat that stuff? Don't you know it's bad for you? You're starting to blow up like a balloon." "I'm eating for two." "Zack kissed me." ZeoTommy stared for a long moment at Tommy. "Eating for two...?" He quickly regained his composure. "But it's still bad for you, especially in your condition." "It has calcium; it's good for bones." Hugh T. Deville waltzed into the Juice Bar, for one of his rare public appearances, and ordered a large orange juice. Kim looked over. "Daddy!" "Hello there, adopted pumpkin. How's married life? Been doing blah-blah-blah and yackety shmackety?" "Zack kissed me." Kim blushed over his entire face. "Daddy...." Hugh patted Tommy on the head. "Well, I see you have. Keep up the good work, and remember to drink your OJ. It's not just for breakfast, anymore." And, with that, he walked out. The ZeoRangers all stared at Kim, and one or two chins had to be picked up off the floor. ZeoTommy made several false starts, but finally Kat asked, "That was your father?" "Um, yeah. I'm, like, adopted." Billy tapped ZeoBilly on the shoulder. "Let's get away from the crowd, and figure out how to get you guys back home." Bulk and Skull meandered into the Juice Bar, trying to look suave, as usual. And, as usual, they only managed to look silly. Bulk stopped short on the step leading to the bar itself. He grabbed Skull by the jacket, and pulled his friend's ear to his mouth. "Look, it's the missing dweebs." "I guess they all got back from that peace conference." "But they look just like those girls. I tell you Skull, there's something strange going on here." "So, what do we do?" "We investigate! Back to the office!" Kim looked Kat up and down. "So, you're my replacement? Not too bad looking, but are you as good in bed?" Kat looked completely confused. "In bed? I've never heard of any sleeping skills." Kim smirked. "Well, I know this little place Tommy's grandfather gave us, and I've got the keys." He looked back over to where Tommy and ZeoTommy were still arguing about the effects of eating weird food combinations. "Come on, they won't even notice we're gone." "So, why aren't you a girl?" ZeoRocky asked his double. "I was a squirrel until two cats took pity on me." Jason grinned. "But you were a cute one. I have to admit, though, your real form is a lot more fun." "You were a *squirrel*?" Rocky nodded. "And I still can't quite get out of the habit of storing nuts in my cheeks." Jason made a face. "Tell me about it. You could have at least warned me the first time." "Zack kissed me." ZeoRocky stared a minute, as though something were slowly dawning on him. "You two...are an item?" He glanced over at his teammate, who was still glassy-eyed. "He does make a cute girl." ZeoAdam and Tanya stood side by side, holding hands. "You know, it's funny, but since we got here, I," ZeoAdam blushed, "I've been fighting the urge to take you right on the mats, in front of everyone!" Tanya gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "It's okay, I've been feeling the same way," she breathed, nostrils flaring. The two made their way over to the mats, and began sparring. Adam and Ayesha watched for a few minutes, then shook their heads. "That's not how it's done," Ayesha said, as he and Adam went to meet them on the mats. "Let us show you." They began slowly removing each others' clothes, while ZeoAdam and Tanya stared in shock. From a table overlooking the mats, Trini sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Those show-offs." "So, you were working on alternate universe theories before you got shunted here? Please elucidate." ZeoBilly tore his gaze away from the Ranger Scouts showing off their flexibility. "Ummm...yeah. But, I can't get the equation to work quite right." He pulled out a sheet of paper filled with mathematical scrawl. "I think I'm missing a couple of elements." Billy looked over the equation closely, and began sketching device plans. "It's a vibrational frequency you're missing. And a pack of Mentos, the freshmaker." (Billy gets handed a wad of cash from offstage) "Anyway, I'll need to take some readings off of you, so we can calibrate the instrument." ZeoBilly looked slightly pained. "Better get that from one of the others. Remember how I told you about getting myself back to normal when Master Vile put us all back in time? As a result, I'm out of phase with the normal flow of time, at least in my universe. That's part of the real reason I couldn't absorb the Gold Ranger energies." "Of course! Otherwise you'd be in your thirties. But, if you're not perfectly in sync with your universe, that might make getting you back a problem. What was the rest of the reason?" "I absorbed the ambient energies of the Power Coins. I told the others I absorbed negative protons when the Command Center blew up." Billy laughed. "And they believed you absorbed anti-matter?" "Well, you know how it is." "Yeah, the Rangers aren't that much brighter than Bulk and Skull." The two laughed so loud it got Adam and Ayesha's attention, but stopped suddenly when they noticed Trini's glare. "We should go to the Command Center and work on these plans as much as we can. Not to mention letting Zordon know what's going on." The three stood, and walked out with a brief wave to their friends. Kim cuffed Kat loosely to the bedposts. "Ummm...what're you doing? This isn't very comfortable. I mean, how am I supposed to sleep?" Kim raised an eyebrow at Kat. "What makes you think you're going to sleep?" "You asked me how I was in bed." Kim undid the cuffs. "I guess we should take this one step at a time." Zack, Lori, and Gordon finished their ice creams. Zack made a brief stop by the Rangers' table. "Is he going to be okay?" she asked, pointing to ZeoJason. "Zack kissed me." Jason doused her double with a glass of cold water. ZeoJason sputtered, then glared at his assailant. "What was that for?" Rocky shrugged. "Because you were sounding like a broken record?" ZeoJason rubbed his eyes. "Did someone hit me in the head? I'm seeing double." Zack waved as she headed out the door. "Um, it was interesting meeting you." ZeoJason looked over to the door and nodded. "Interesting's a good word... Wait a minute-" He looked at his counterpart. "Dumped him for Goldar?" Jason laughed weakly. "It's a long story." The two Billys and Trini teleported to the Command Center from Ernie's foyer. They arrived to an argument between the two Alphas, who immediately stopped upon noticing the Rangers. Zordon was apparently asleep. ZeoAlpha trundled over to ZeoBilly. "Ay-yi-yi-yi, Billy. There are impostors in our Command Center!" Alpha trundled over to Billy. "Ay-yi-yi-yi, Billy. There are impostors in our Power Chamber!" "It's okay, Alphas," Trini said, "There aren't any imposters here. Just a little universe mix-up." ZeoAlpha looked over at Trini. "When did you get back from the peace conference?" Alpha looked ZeoBilly up and down. Ay-yi-yi. Two Billys are better than one. Billy gave Alpha a little squeeze as she, ZeoBilly, and Trini walked toward the open manhole that led to the Power Chamber. "Later, Alpha," she whispered, then turned her attention to ZeoBilly. "You said you have a better-equipped lab in here?" ZeoBilly nodded, still trying to figure out what all the weird mental images in his head were. He *knew* they weren't his. Billy, Alpha, and Trini went down the hatch first, with ZeoBilly and ZeoAlpha close behind. "Who's the other girl? She's kind of cute," ZeoAlpha whispered. ZeoBilly colored slightly. "That's this universe's version of me." He immediately began having even more strange mental images in his head. This was getting annoying, and it was happening more and more often. He shook his head to clear it, then followed Alpha down the manhole. Kat and Kim lay on the bearskin rug in Tommy's grandfather's cabin, breathing heavily. "Not too bad," Kim panted. "But you should take more gymnastics classes." Kat blinked. "I thought I did very well with what you put me through. I do take ballet, I'll have you know." "Not quite enough flexibility." Kat grinned evilly. "And now I get to introduce this to my Tommy. This'll be fun." "Hmph. Just stay out of the basement. That's where I'll be with *my* Tommy - unless you want a group thing." Kat's eyes went wide. "You can do it in a group?" Kim grinned to himself. Maybe he could finally get a chance at being in the middle. Adam and Ayesha got up from their "impromptu grooming session", and put their clothes back on. They walked over to ZeoAdam and Tanya. "See? Now that's much more fun than beating on each other. Of course, that can be part of it, too." Ayesha winked. ZeoAdam and Tanya just stared,unable to do anything. "Really." Tommy finished the last of her odd sundae. "Right now, I want a box of chocolate covered ants. And maybe some pistachios." ZeoTommy threw his hands up in the air. "But that's full of fat!" "Protein, too. "Ritchie! Can I get a hotdog with mayonaise and saurkraut?" ZeoTommy banged his head on the table. "Let me get this straight..." ZeoJason wearily rubbed one temple. "You dumped Zack for Goldar, who dumped you to chase Tommy, and then you started chasing after Trini, who wanted Billy? And Billy ended up with both Trini and Alpha, so you wound up with Rocky after he became human again?" "And after a brief affair with Ayesha and Adam." Jason confirmed. ZeoRocky shook his head. "How did you guys find time to fight monsters?" Rocky grinned, "Probably because Rita and Zed were as busy as we were." Zed, Rita, Rito, and Goldar languished in their snowglobe, in various stages of boredom. "I hope those brats come back soon. They're always good for some inspiration," Rita screeched. "Really, my dear, don't you ever get tired of experimenting? I think the last one threw my back out." Rita growled. "Don't tell me, you're getting a headache?" The two Billys and one Trini blinked in the dim light of the Power Chamber, while the two Alphas followed. Billy looked impressed. "And you got this place after your Command Center blew up?" "Affirmative," ZeoBilly answered. "It turned out it was here all along." "Then why not use it all along? Alpha?" The two Alphas shrugged in unison. "I'm not sure, Billy." "Anyway," Trini said, "let's get to work on this device." Billy nodded. "That way it can tell us what frequency we're missing." She put the plans on the table, and began gathering the equipment they'd need. "Hopefully, we won't get in each other's way." ZeoBilly was confused. "*It* can tell us which frequency is missing?" "You mean you can't hear the machines? Get little flashes of exactly what's wrong with a device without even having to look at it? Have Alpha assist you without having to say a word?" ZeoBilly nodded mutely. He never thought much about the little incidents, but he was quickly getting the idea it was beyond normal intuition. Trini put an arm around each Billy, and led them to the opposite side of the Power Chamber, nearer Zordon's column, which was inactive. "Why don't we let the Alphas put the thing together, while we have some fun. Get to really know each other." Billy rolled her eyes. Actually, she was surprised Trini lasted this long without doing this. ZeoBilly blushed, noticing the odd accent Trini put on "know", without quite knowing why. "Ummm...sure?" ZeoZordon sat with Ernie in the former's column, eating popcorn. "So tell me how this works, again?" Ernie sighed. He had explained it a number of times already. "The Rangers are our entertainment. Since we're not getting any ourselves, we can live vicariously through them. And, since they can't hear us, we can also shout suggestions, and hold up score cards." "We're not getting any what?" ########### Interlude ########### Saban-verse ########### A male robot dressed in 18th century clothes, if one could call them clothes, and his wife, who had a pink leotard design, stood together out of range of the Machine Empire's moon base. "Father appears to have finally gotten rid of those Power Rangers for good, my love. I fear we shall have to flee for our lives again." Archerina shook her head. "I'm tired of running, Gasket. Once your father secures Earth, we'll have nowhere to go." She put both arms around her husband, actually dropping her trademark bow, which dissappeared into hyperspace. "We must make our stand here and now." "No! I need time to think and plan." He pulled an odd, rifle shaped device out of thin air. "Look, I've got the device that sent that brainy friend of the Rangers out of the universe. *We* can use it to go somewhere my father doesn't even exist! Just until we are strong enough to overthrow him, of course." ########### End interlude ########### ZeoTommy lifted his head off the table just in time to see his alternate finish the last of her hotdog. "You're not getting anything else, I hope?" Tommy looked thoughtful. "I'm still a little hungry, actually. Hey, Ritchie! I want some French fries and a vanilla shake!" "Now, you can't possibly come up with anything good out of *that*." "Phosphorous....and vitamin A." ZeoTommy banged his head on the table, just as Ritchie came by with Tommy's order. He glanced over at the ZeoRanger. "Hey, man, you break that table, you gotta pay for it." Kat and Kim returned to the Juice Bar; Kat curiously grinning from ear to ear. She nearly skipped over to ZeoTommy and bent her head to his ear. "I've just been introduced to something...fun...we can do later on tonight." Adam sighed plaintively. "Looks like we're not getting to be in this parody much." Ayesha raised an eyebrow. "This is bad?" ZeoAdam and Tanya, who were just starting to recover from the shock of Adam and Ayesha's performance, looked at each other oddly. "Parody?" ZeoAdam asked. "What do you mean?" Now it was Adam and Ayesha's turn to look oddly at one another. "You mean, you don't know? We're a kids' show. At least we *were*, until we got cancelled." Ayesha paused a moment. "Actually, we're the parody of a kids' show. We figured that out after the second time we got called out of retitrement, when the author threw herself in here." "You mean somewhere, someone is just making all this up? For fun?" Tanya's voice started becoming shrill, her nostrils flaring. "That's so sick!" Adam shifted her eyes around the room, looking for any inadvertant eavesdroppers...not that the entire city couldn't have not heard Tanya's yelling. "Be careful, we don't need too many more people figuring this out." ZeoAdam scratched his head. "But, that means someone in this city can just send us all home by writing it down...we need to find him." "Her," Adam corrected. "We just know she's here, but not who. Just that she's not one of us Rangers." "How do you know the author's a her?" "Uhhhhhhhhhhhmmm....She wants us to?" "Maybe she's one of the Strangers?" Ayesha suggested. "They appeared after we came out of retirement that second time." "Who are the Strangers?" Tanya asked, having calmed down a little. "The Mightee Moron Powered Strangers," Adam explained," are Lord Zed's anti-Rangers...that didn't quite work. They weren't under a spell, so Zed had no control over them. Now, they turn up randomly, usually fighting both sides. Occasionally, even each other. Come to think of it, they *usually* fight each other, and occasionally fight both sides." "How strange," ZeoAdam commented. "Exactly," replied his counterpart. "Yo, barkeep...a glass of iced tea, no sugar." The Strangers filed into the restaurant, taking seats at the bar itself. "Wow, empty place today. What's this....a fraternal twins' convention?" Ritchie served Susan her iced tea, while the others made their orders. "I'm surprised to see you six here. You haven't been in since we gave you those computers." "Staring at a computer screen too long does weird things with your head," Chris explained. "Besides, it's seemed like a good idea at the time." Archerina and Gasket surveyed the familiar, not-familiar moonscape of their new universe. "Just think, Archerina. An entire universe, ours for the taking!" Archerina made an odd noise in her vocal circuitry. "But, dear, I thought we were just here to recoup?" "My darling, think of my father's reaction when we face him with the power of an *entire* universe. Father only has a measly couple of galaxies." "There's only one problem with that plan, my love. This is the same universe those Power Brats were sent to. And what if theis universe has its own team of Rangers? We'll have double the trouble!" "Yes, of course. Well, we'll just have to keep an eye on them." He gestured, and a large cog appeared, floating at eye level. The center fuzzed with static, then cleared to reveal the letters, C N N. These eventually dissolved to show the Juice Bar. "There are the Rangers we know," Archerina whispered, as if afraid she could be overheard. "Those others they're talking to must be the native Rangers." Gasket chuckled. "Now, let us plan." Billy, ZeoBilly, and Trini lay in a sweaty tangle as the Alphas finished the transuniversal transporter. "You could have waited for me," Alpha whined. "Why?" ZeoAlpha asked. "What's so great about wrestling?" "You'd be surprised," Trini laughed. She managed to disentwine from the knot, and wandered over to where the Alphas stood. "Why don't we show you, while those two -" She indicated ZeoBilly, who was snoring, and Billy, who looked as though she would soon follow. "- recover." "After four in a row," Billy mumbled, "we desreve a break." She chuckled weakly, and pointed to ZeoBilly. "I don't think he'll be walking normally any time soon." ZeoJason gave ZeoRocky a sideways glance. "The way you've been looking at me lately is really starting to scare me." ZeoRocky shuddered, while Rocky and Jason exchanged knowing looks. "Man, you're not the only one it's scaring." "Why don't we head over to the Command Center, and see what Zordon has to say about all this?" Rocky suggested, then added,"Both of them." Tommy was just finishing her dessert, when the reamining Rangers re-gathered. ZeoTommy had his head on the table, while Kat attempted to give him a massage. Kim just yawned, and occasionally stole one of Tommy's fries. "We need to report to Zordon." "We need to find the author." "Huh? What?" The Tommys answered in unison. Tommy was muffled by a mouthful of fries; ZeoTommy was muffled by the table. Ayesha and Rocky repeated themselves, one at a time. Tommy finished her milkshake with one gulp. "Why do you want to find the author?" ZeoTommy just looked confused. "What author?" "The one who writes these stupid parodies." Ayesha and Adam looked at each other. "Here we go again." The Strangers watched the two sets of Rangers with glee. "Time to go pay a visit to our mute butler, Ingmar. He's mute, you know." "Two sets of Rangers are better than one!" "Eeeeew." Ernie clapped ZeoZordon on the shoulder. "My wrist satellite TV says the Rangers are on their way, so I'm going back to my column. But, you know what to do, now?" ZeoZordon nodded, busily taking notes on Trini and Alpha's activities. ZeoAlpha was confused. Watching his counterpart and Trini doing their odd wrestling was setting his circuitry on fire, just like when Kimberly was still part of the team. He was going to have to get Zordon to upgrade his programming beyond a 10-year-old's level. Alpha and Trini were getting dressed (or reasssembled, in Alpha's case), when ZeoZordon's console started showng signs of life. ZeoAlpha distracted himself from his thoughts by trying to get the Billys to do the same. Trini joined him soon after, muttering, "This is a guy who really loves himself." when ZeoBilly refused to let go of Billy's arm. They managed to rouse the two just as ZeoZordon's face appeared in his column. Fortunately, the Billys chose to nap in the doorway to ZeoBilly's lab, which was out of ZeoZordon's line of sight. "Ah, Alpha," he boomed, "what have you learned about our current situation?" Alpha shifted from foot to foot as he danced in a circle to face the floating head in the column. Even these Rangers needed a volume control. "You're in an alternate universe, Zordon. The two sets of Rangers are getting to know each other." The others came in from the back, just as the ZeoRangers teleprted in multi-colored streaks of light. "Ah, Rangers," ZeoZordon boomed, "I was just about to call you. Alpha informs me we are in an alternate universe. What have you learned about it?" The ZeoRangers looked at one another in varying degrees of embarrassment. "Um, this is a story, and if we find the author, we can get her to write us out of here," ZeoRocky said. ZeoJason's eyes glazed over. "Zack...kissed me." The two Alphas, one Trini, and both Billys looked at each other, then the ZeoRangers. "So...we wasted the entire afternoon making this transuniversal transporter?" Trini said. "I'm heading back to the Command Center." Billy grabbed Alpha by the arm. "We should be going,too. We need to report to our Zordon." As the three headed up the ladder, ZeoTommy cornered ZeoBilly. "You guys made a way to get us home? Why didn't you say something earlier?" ZeoBilly ran one hand through his hair. "We still need to add a precise vibrational frequency, one that matches our quantum frequency." The ZeoRangers looked completely blank. "Does that mean it won't work?" Kat asked. Alpha obediently followed Billy back up to the Command Center. "Do you think we'll find the author?" "Do we really want to? I mean, what kind of sick, twisted, and perverted person would come up with what we've been through?" Susan paused in the doorway to the Juice Bar; the other Strangers were already across the street. She sneezed. "Hmmmm...does that mean someone's talking about me? Or is that an itchy palm? I'm always getting my old wives' tales confused." She shrugged, and trotted to catch up with the rest of her team. "Do you think finding the author of these parodies will do us any good?" Jason asked. "I think we're better off finding Billy's vibrator. Errrr...." "We get the idea," Tommy said, then yawned. "Maybe we should sleep on this? It's getting late." Rocky shrugged. "It's pretty much up to the other Rangers, any way. But, Billy should try to fnd that frequency, anyway. I think we have a better chance with that." "It's not so much finding it, as finding some way to produce it. The harmonics have to be exact to the last decimal." Billy went back to the manhole. "Let me go and get a reading off one of the others. Any messages?" Tommy nodded. "We'll help with whatever they decide to do. Oh, and I can put most of them up at my place. Grandfather gave me his cabin as a wedding present." Billy nodded and headed down the ladder. Billy's head had just disappeared down the manhole, when the Command Center's alarm went off. "Rangers, behold the viewing globe. The day I have feared the most has finally come to pass. Two new villains have taken up residence on the moon." The viewing globe showed two robots facing a cog which showed the Rangers in the Juice Bar. "Sorry...lag time from the moon is terrible." "Jeez, can't you get sound?" Kim whined. "I'm afraid not, Kimberly," Alpha answered. "We never got around to installing the sound system." "Too bad they did get to the one for Zordon," Adam muttered. Billy popped back out of the manhole and handed a gun-shaped device to Alpha. "Here's the frequency we'll be looking for. "Tommy, Kat, Adam, and Tanya said they'd stay with you, Tommy. Billy, Jason, and Rocky will stay at my place." "Maybe their Jason and Rocky should trade places with me and Rocky at our hotel," Jason suggested. "Why is that?" "Your...uhm, toy box." "You went through that?" Jason nodded. "You must enjoy being a girl." Billy, who had turned a pink matching Kim's uniform, turned an impressive shade of bright purple. "You have a point. I'll got tell Rocky and Jason they'll be staying in your hotel room...isn't that a single?" She shrugged. "I don't think they'll mind unless Zack is there, too." "How was I supposed to know he was from another universe?" Zack muttered under her breath. The ZeoRangers, meanwhile, took it upon themselves to come up to the Command Center. "Wow, what are Gasket and Archerina doing on your viewing globe?" ZeoAdam asked. ZeoBilly leaned over to his counterpart, and whispered. "That's not a very healthy color." Billy's only response was to turn an even deeper shade of purple, amazing everyone who was actually paying attention. "Gasket and Archerina? You know those two?" Tommy looked to her double. "Gasket and Archerina are from the Machine Empire. But, what are they doing here? Mondo never invaded in this universe." "Maybe Mondo sent them here as punishment?" ZeoJason suggested. Tommy sighed. "I knew things were too quiet lately." She pulled out a red rose. "Adam...take this. I shouldn't be morphing in my condition." Adam had to tug a few times before Tommy released the flower. "I want it back, you know." "Machines shouldn't present too much of a problem for us." Trini put her arm around Billy, who was beginning to return to a normal color. "What do you mean?" Kat asked. "I have what's called machine telepathy," Billy almost whispered. "But, I've never tried controlling a *sentient* machine before." The Rangers and Zeo Rangers looked at both Billys for a long moment. Finally, Tanya said, "That explains *soooooooooo* much." *** Kimberly and Tommy lay together in the master bedroom of the old cabin. For the first time since revealing himself to Tommy, Saba was not with them. After learning about the arrival of the ZeoRangers, he left to introduce himself to ZeoTommy. The situation made Tommy nervous, and a bit jealous (not that she'd ever admit it to Kim). Tommy sighed and ran one hand over her belly. She really didn't feel like "having fun" tonight, anyway. Meeting your double (who was still male, to boot) was more than a bit disconcerting. She sighed again. Kim ran his hand through Tommy's hair. "What's eating you?" "Oh, just thinking. I never pictured starting a family quite like this." Kim giggled. "Yeah. 'Course, I never thought of myself as the motherly type. Would've runied my figure." Tommy rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me." "At least I don't have all that Oedipus/can'tmakelovetoamother baggage. A lot of guys do." "But you're not a guy...not really." "You got that right, just like you're not really a girl. And getting operations means having to see a shrink. Can you imagine?" "He'd never believe what happened. I'm still having troubles with it." "Don't worry your pretty little head about it." He giggled at Tommy's glare. "Sorry, I always wanted to say that." Saba looked in on ZeoTommy's room, which he was sharing with ZeoAdam. Saba was unsure just how to proceed, especially since ZeoAdam didn't look like he'd be leaving any time soon. He smiled to himself suddenly, and reverted to his sword form. ZeoTommy rolled out the army surplus sleeping bag onto the floor. ZeoAdam flipped down the covers to the bed. "Are you sure you don't want the bed, man?" "Yeah, I like sleeping on the floor. It's good for the ba-- Did you hear that?" "You mean that clunk of plastic landing on a wood floor? No." "I was probably imagining things. Then again, it never hurts to check." ZeoTommy walked over to the door, and stuck his head out. When it wasn't cut off, he slowly looked down to the floor. "Saba!" he whispered. He bent over to pick it up, but it slid out of his reach. He walked over to its new position. It slid again as ZeoTommy tried to grab it. Eventually, it fell down the stairs to the basement. ZeoTommy turned on the lights to the basement...and stopped. He forgot all about Saba, which was lying at his feet. Pink whips of various lengths and types were on a shelf off to the side, along with white cuffs, gags, and other assorted things. "What...the...." ZeoTommy stepped toward the center of the room, where a set of shackles hung from the ceiling and another was attached to the floor. I hope he isn't going to freak out, Saba thought, then shifted form. "Greetings," purred a familiar voice with a British accent. ZeoTommy whirled around to face the stairs, and did a double take at the humanoid tiger standing before him. "S-s-s-s-Saba? What is all this?" "It is better experienced than explained, ZeoRanger Five." A figure in a pink bathrobe padded down the stairs in kitty slippers. "Tommy? What's going on down here? I saw you chasing something...I thought it might be a mouse." Kat yawned, then noticed Saba. "Why am I seeing a large white tiger standing in front of you?" Saba smiled. This was beginning to remind him of old times. "As I was saying..." Jason and Rocky were spending the night in Billy's lab, much to the chagrin of a trench-coated figure outside, who now had to change his video set-up. Jason was picking up the search of Billy's "toybox" where she left off, while Rocky went through some of the discards. "Whoah....what happened to the horn on this saddle?" Jason chuckled. "We probably don't want to know. Hey, what's this?" She picked up a large (well, for a bug) praying mantis wearing a vest. "Hello. Hello. Hello." The bug blinked audibly a couple of times. "Look, it's a talking action figure. Do you have a name?" "Raymond." "What do you want to be when you grow up, Raymond?" Rocky shook his head and went back to puzzling out some of Billy's odder contraptions. And hoped they didn't start talking to him. "Lone locust of Apoklips." "Isn't that cute? He can't say apocalypse. Can you say spaghetti, Raymond?" "Psghetti." "I could go for some psghetti about now. What about you?" "Want pizza...with orange roughy." "Well, we can get a pizza. Don't know about the orange roughy, though." The mantis blinked audibly again, then started to cry. Very loudly. Jason desperately tried to quiet it. "Shhhhhhh...Look, they don't make pizzas with orange roughy around here. How about anchovies?" "Okay." Trini, Billy, and ZeoBilly rushed through the door in various states of undress. "What's going on here?" Billy demanded. Jason looked to Rocky for help, but he was busy trying to distance himself from the whole mess. She quickly covered Raymond with her jacket. "Um. We need a pizza...with anchovies." "Want pizza." Billy pushed her glasses up her nose, and bent down to remove Jason's jacket. Raymond blinked up at her. "Hello." Billy jumped nearly out of her skin, and Raymond started crying again. Trini tried distracting him with a plastic pony. "Horsie...pretty horsie." "Where did you find that, Jason?" "In your closet, with all those other strange toys." ZeoBilly looked at the pile near Rocky, and pulled out a a rod connected to a hose, which was in turn connected to a box that was about the size of a large backpack. "Wow, my old particle accelerator. I forgot where I put that." Trini eeped as Raymond started chomping on the plastic horse. "Are you hungry, Raymond?" "Want pizza." Trini rolled her eyes. "I guess we should get the kid a pizza. Maybe then he'll tell us how he got here." She walked out to make the call. "I thought he was one of Billy's experiments." Billy tried to look indignant, which is difficult when one is wearing only a translucent blue negligee and glasses. "I don't do experiments on animals." "The pizza's on its way, Raymond," Trini announced as she returned to the gathering. "Happy?" The mantis started vibrating happily. Billy started running around the room, and digging through random piles of stuff, until she pulled out a wedge-shaped, blue (of course) device. She pointed it at Raymond, and watched the flashing lights intently. ZeoBilly got up from helping Rocky put the stowed experiments back in the closet, explaining each one...except the saddle. He went over to his counterpart, and looked over her shoulder. "Do you remember what the frequency we need is?" "Alpha's got...finally, a fix...it. I intend to compare the two tomorrow." She pressed a button on the device, and put it off to one side. She looked up at ZeoBilly accusingly. "Since you got here, I just can't get a full night's sleep." She immediately regretted the comment, as the entire room started giggling. Zack looked again at the room number of the hotel, and knocked. She nervously glanced around, as she waited for an answer. I don't know what I'm doing here....I should leave well enough alone. The door swung open. ZeoJason looked down at her. "Um...hi...um, Zack. Uh, come in." "Good to know you can say more than three words." She stepped into the room, and looked around. It looked like every other Bates Motel room she had been in, only with two twin beds, instead of one. There was a TV on the dresser, and a door in the back that led to a spacious bathroom. "Where is everyone?" "Uh, out bar-hopping. Something Ayesha and Adam discovered at college." Zack sat down on the corner of one of the beds. "Relax. I'm not going to kiss you again. Unless, of course, you want me to." ZeoJason turned a shade of red so deep it rivaled Billy's from earlier. "I'm sorry about the way I reacted, but in my universe, you, Zack, were my best friend. Thinking about you and me...together...." He shuddered slightly. "I'm just not that kind of guy, and it's strange to think my best friend is." "Would it help if I said I'm not him? I'm not even a he, anymore." "What is that like, anyway?" "Makes it easier to get dates. But, about my first question?" "Oh. Not really." "Even if I did this?" Zack bent over, and, for lack of a more delicate term, shoved her tongue down his throat. ZeoJason soon responded in kind, until Zack broke the kiss, unable to stop herself from laughing. "Looks like you were wrong." ZeoJason sighed. "Seems to me, the law of this universe is if it feels good, do it. And that felt pretty good." "I can't believe we're feeding anchovy pizza to a mantis. I can't believe *I'm* feeding anchovy pizza to a mantis." Jason looked disgusted with the whole situation. The others were eating a pepperoni pizza Trini had the foresight to order. "You found him, and he seems to like you," Billy pointed out. "I'd like to know how he got in my closet. I don't *think* any of my experiments could make anything like him." Rocky almost choked on his pizza. "You mean you're not positve?" "Only fools are positive." "Are you sure?" "Positive." Trini yawned. "I think the lack of sleep is getting to me. Keep the kid happy, Jason. I'm going back to bed, and I don't want his crying to wake me up." "Prodigious idea, Trini," Billy and ZeoBilly said simultaneously. "I hope you two don't make a habit of doing that." ZeoRocky switched on the hotel room light...and stopped short. Adam, Ayesha, and Tanya behind him piled into each other. "Rocky? What's wrong? Was it a burglar?" Tanya tried to look over her friend's shoulder. "Oh, I see." "What? What is..." Ayesha managed to muscle his way to the front, knocking ZeoRocky into the room. "I don't want to hear him say 'Zack kissed me' ever again," Tanya commented. "Wha-?" Adam finally got a look inside. "Whoah...this is going to be bad for sleeping arrangements. I mean, we were crowded with five in here." Ayesha shrugged. "Two of us will just have to stay on the floor. Come on, Adam." *** Both teams of Rangers wandered aimlessly through Angel Grove Park. "I tried measuring the size of this place, once," commented Billy. "I wandered for weeks without seeing the way out." "Um, what are we doing here?" ZeoTommy asked. "Waiting for the monster attack," Tommy answered. "I hope you don't mind if I sit this one out? I thought I'd watch Serpentera." "Sure thing," Kim answered. "I wonder what her record for loop-the-loops is?" The ZeoRangers looked completely flabberghasted. "Watch Serpentera?" ZeoTommy repeated. "Yeah, she still flies over Angel Grove Park. She stuffed the Red Dragon Zord into a, um, bay of some kind. It's become something of a tourist attraction, actually," Billy answered. A rustling of nearby bushes, and a shout of, "Well, darn" heralded the arrival of the Mightee Moron Powered Strangers. Susan looked around. "Just when you think you've gotten to the end..." Rob nodded. "I think this is like finding out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop." "1,645," said Julie. Billy looked over at Julie. "Curious. I got 1,294." "That's a *big* difference," said Robert. "The answer is always three." "Well, I stopped counting when the barest bit of Tootsie Roll showed itself." Susan looked around, finally noticing the Rangers. "Oh....shouldn't we be fighting about now?" Tommy scratched her head. "Where's the monster?" Gasket and Archerina teleported into the area. "You can always fight us." Susan hit her head with one hand. "Ok, here's the 'monster with no reason to attack other than to give the story a fight sequence' cue." She peered closely at Archerina. "You know, you look a lot like..." Archerina whacked Susan over the head with her bow. "I don't look like anyone." "Owww...geez, I'm getting hurt a lot in this story." "Masochist," Chris mumbled. "I have no idea what you're talking about," Susan hmphed. "Well, we have a monster to hurt you even more," Gasket sneered. "Black Widow, come forth!" A spiderweb spiraled into the middle of the congregation, followed by a black form, like a Transformer in robot mode, with a few extra arms. Gold striping traced its sides, and it had two pair of...headlights. "Yes, master?" it hissed. Robert pointed at the Black Widow. "Hey, that's my car!" "I always knew that thing was a monster. Female, too." "Oh, be quiet, before I sit on you." The Strangers continued arguing, while the witnesses just rolled their eyes. "I think we should get on with this," Trini muttered. "Who gets to say the magic words this time?" "I'm leader...so, I guess I do," said Kim. He put one arm behind his back, and one into the air. "It's morphin' time! Moon ranger power!" "Mercury ranger power!" "Venus ranger power!" "Mars ranger power!" "Jupiter ranger power!" Adam just revealed the rose in her (now his) hand. "Cool, you don't *have* to say anything stupid for this one." The Ranger Scouts went through their long transformation sequences, while the ZeoRangers made some strange arm movements to activate their zeonizers. "ZeoRanger one, pink!" "ZeoRanger two, yellow!" "ZeoRanger three, blue!" "ZeoRanger four, green!" "ZeoRanger five, red!" Rocky lightly patted Zack on the shoulder. "I guess it's our turn. "Ninjetti! The ape!" "The deer!" ZeoBilly shrugged. He may as well give it a shot. "The wolf!" "This is getting ridiculous," Susan muttered. "I think it passed ridiculous somewhere around the third story, actually," Rob replied. Chris just got a maniacal grin on his face, and imitated the ZeoRangers' crossed arm position. He announced in a stilted Japanese accent, "We must use our...gadget watches!" "No,no,no. It's 'go, go, gadget *rings*'!" Susan corrected. "Just for that, though, I'm going to make you start." "Red balloons!" "Pink hearts!" "Yellow stars!" "Blue diamonds!" "Purple horseshoes!" "Green clovers! Frosted Lucky Charms!" (The Strangers each get handed a wad of cash from offstage. Susan gets a slightly larger wad of cash than the rest.) The Strangers glared at Susan, then looked over at the Rangers, who had finished transforming. Susan grinned weakly. "That didn't work did it?" Robert put one hand on his sister's shoulder. "That's okay. I have a *plan*." "Should we flee in terror now, or wait?" "Wait for it. You should enjoy it. Go on without me." Robert headed for the path from the Park to the waterfront. The Rangers, meanwhile, were engaged in a few games of strip poker, while the villains stood around and occasionally glanced at their watches. "Let's try this again...White tiger!" "Red fox! "Pink squirrel!" "Yellow badger!" "Blue panda!" The Strangers transformed into anthropomorphic versions of their antiZord animals. "Okay, we're done now! Cue the pretentious monologues." Kim hmphed. "Our monologues are not pretentious. Um, Billy, what's 'pretentious' mean?" Billy and ZeoBilly both answered. "Egotistical, stuck-up, self-important." "Oh." Kim thought a moment, ahemed, then pointed at the machines. "We are the Mighty Morphin Ranger Scouts. We're here to right wrongs and triumph over evil. And that means you!" ZeoTommy was a bit distracted by Kimberly in her short sailor uniform. She actually wasn't wearing any shorts underneath. He finally came back to reality when he noticed Jason wasn't wearing any underwear. "You won't get away with this, Gasket!" "I haven't done anything to you, yet." "Yeah, well...you still won't get away with it!" The Black Widow shot webs out of her six arms, ensnaring ZeoTommy, Kim, ZeoAdam, Ayesha, Tanya, and Zack. "Are you sure about that, Power Brats?" The captured Rangers struggled futilely against the webbing. "I'll get you out!" Trini called. "Mars...fire...IGNITE!" A spout of flame flew from Trini's fingertips to the webbing, which immediately burned away. And scorched the Rangers, and left Rob looking somewhat carbonized. "Thanks a lot, you pyro," Kim said. "Hey, it got you out of the web." Rob scratched his head. "So, what are we going to do?" "Sit back and enjoy the show?" Chris suggested. Susan dragged Kim over to Archerina, and placed a sign between them which read, "Separated at birth?" Archerina took another swing at the Stranger with her bow, but Susan ducked. The bow hit Kim instead. "Owwwww." The Black Widow, meanwhile, started shooting explosive webbing, which detonated a split second before they would have made impact. The Ranger Scouts and ZeoRangers both did impressive jumps away from the explosions, almost as if they had actually been hit. Away from the battle, Robert walked through Angel Grove's abandoned warehouse district, on his way to the waterfront. Somewhere along the way, he didn't notice the signs were in Japanese. He just shrugged, grunted, and continued on, too intent on his goal to worry about incidentals. The Black Widow, meanwhile, started shooting explosive webbing, which detonated a split second before they would have made impact. The Ranger Scouts and ZeoRangers both did impressive jumps away from the explosions, almost as if they had actually been hit. "Stop using stock shots," Chris complained. Hey, it works on the show. "It looks bad there, too." True. Then, suddenly, Chris got in the way of Tanya doing an impressive leap-kick at the car monster. He ducked, rolled, and spouted a burst of flame at the cables holding her up. Tanya fell to the ground a foot short of her goal, and in an awkward position. The Black Widow immediately encased the ZeoRanger in a web cocoon. Better? "Hrmmmm...." Susan tossed Chris a bag of popcorn. "Here, make yourself useful and pop this." Rob boggled. "Where....where were you keeping that?!?" "What's it matter? It's wrapped in plastic." Julie sat on the ground and began chanting, "Eeeeyeeew." Gwen started giggling. Rob, Susan, and Chris looked at each other. "Uh-oh." Trying to calm himself, Rob said, "We should be okay as long as no one asks if she's all right." "With two teams of Power Rangers around?" Susan snorted. "That'll take a minor miracle." Gwen must have heard them talking, because she started giggling harder, and made little squeaking noises. Kat ran over to Gwen's side. "Are you -" "N N OOOO OOOO OOOO !! NN N O O O O O O !! N N N O O O O O O !! N N N O O O O O O !! N N N O O O O O O !! N NN O O O O O O N N OOOO OOOO OOOO !!" "- all right?" "Oh, great...*now* you've done it." As Gwen started laughing harder, the Strangers (with the exception of Julie, who just continued chanting, "Ew. Ew. Ew. Eeeeeeeyeeeew.") began looking for what could be used as a fallout shelter. Soon, the vibrational feedback from the Pink Stranger's laughing began causing little explosions, much like the Black Widow's webbing. Billy opened a device that looked like a cross between a calculator and a compact. "Alpha? Can you get a reading?" she whispered. "Beginning analysis, now, Billy." The two villains considered this a good time to make a tactical withdrawal. Gasket raised his arm in a defiant gesture. "We'll meet again, Rangers!" "Billy, stop them!" Trini cried. Billy reached out with her mind, and touched...nothing. "Um, bad news, guys. Those two aren't really machines." For once, Kim thought quickly, and removed her tiara. "Moon...tiara... MAGIC!" The tiara became a disk of light which went sailing towards Gasket and Archerina. "Tiara, bind!" The disk of light became a broad band that encircled the villains, snaring them neatly. "Whoah...won't Tommy get jealous?" Trini asked. Unfortunately, the Strangers continued looking for places to hide within Gwen's field of vision. It only served to make her laugh harder. Susan sighed. "You know what this calls for, don't you?" Rob nodded solemnly. "The candy corn." He pulled a small bag out of his pocket. "I always keep some for just such an occasion. Oh, Gwen...." Gwen stopped giggling long enough to look at Rob with a somewhat dazed expression. Then, she noticed the candy corn, and started laughing harder. Robert reached his goal, completely oblivious to the Japanese dockworkers who were yelling at him. He didn't understand Japanese, anyway. He grunted, then dove into the bay waters. He swam through the chill water to about a hundred yards out, then went under. A giant green shape snoozed on the ocean bottom. Nope, that wasn't it; close, but not quite. A little farther out, he found it, a great green and metal monstrosity. He opened the airlock. He stepped into the cockpit and found a large (for a bug) praying mantis waiting for him. "Hello," it said. "Urgh. There *would* be bugs in this thing after a few years underwater." "Gimme some gum." "Hrrrgh....I've got an orange roughy caught in my shirt. You can have that. I don't like fish." Raymond vibrated happily. If Tommy or ZeoTommy had been there she, or he, would have recognized the sequence as the Dragon Dagger's. Saba would have felt a twinge of nostalgia. In the murky water of the deep, the DragonZord began to move, heading for shore. In the cockpit, Robert looked thoughtfully at the mantis rapidly consuming a fish. "Hmmmmm." ***BREET-DEE-DEET-DA-DEET-DEE*** Alpha's voice came over the communicator. "Billy, I've got the analysis completed. The Pink Stranger's laughter matches the ZeoRangers' quantum frequency." "Good. Get a recording, and we'll find a way to plug it in to the transporter unit." Well, that was one worry out of the way, but there was still the Black Widow to deal with. "Right away, Billy." The Black Widow, meanwhile, started shooting explosive webbing, which detonated a split second before they would have made contact. The Ranger Scouts and ZeoRangers both did impressive jumps away from the explosions, almost as if they had actually been hit. "I thought you were going to stop that," Susan said. So sue me, I'm tired. The Strangers were busy feeding Gwen the candy corn in between her giggling fits. She strated gesturing wildly, hitting Rob several times. "Oooh," said Susan, "I think she's trying to tell us something. What is it, Gwen? Did Grandpa fall in the old well, again?" This only served to make Gwen laugh harder. A few of the younger trees in the vicinity uprooted and fell on their sides from the vibrational intensity. One of them, a decent sized oak, fell on a large figure in blue tights who didn't seem to notice. He looked around, and leaped towards the abandoned warehouse district, leaving smashed rooftops in his wake. Gwen managed to get enough breath and control to say, "You...you..." "Okay, this is good. You're talking about us." Gwen shook her head. "No...no..." "Aha! There are no screws in the city!" The Ranger Scouts, ZeoRangers and villains stood around talking to each other, and taking little sips of coffee. Suddenly, Kim perked up. "Oh, hey, you guys. We're, like, on. What were we doing?" "Not much," said ZeoJason. "We outnumber the villains almost two to one. And most of them aren't paying any attention to us, anyways." In a small snowglobe in Billy and Trini's bedroom, Rita and Zed watched the foolishness in the Park. Zed began to glow with a red light. "Well, my dear, shall we have some fun?" "I thought you had a 200 year headache?" "Not that fun! A villain can take only so much of those nipple cones, you know. You should register those things as deadly weapons. "No...let's make that monster grow!" Rita grabbed Zed by his codpiece. "I wish you'd stop giving me mixed signals." Goldar, who was getting annoyed, found a convenient bucket of cold water next to him. He promptly dumped it over Rita's head. A small, gray cat shook herself off and hissed at him. Zed sighed. "You want to do something, you've got to do it yourself." He aimed his staff, and a red stream of energy flowed from it to the Black Widow, which promptly grew to building size. The Black Widow laughed evilly. "It's Ranger stompin' time!" The Rangers looked at the two captured villains, then the Black Widow, and finally, each other. "Ummmmm....*how* did *that* happen?" ZeoTommy demanded. "Don't look at us," responded Gasket. "We don't have Orbus." Kim shrugged. "Let's just call our Zords. Oh, wait. You guys don't have any." "Neither do we, I'm afraid," Billy commented. "Those cats didn't give us any." "Feh," Susan interjected. "You're better off without them. They were always blowing up or getting stolen. One of the reasons we turned Zordon down." "Without the remote? How?" "He offered us your jobs as Rangers. We said 'no'." "Wow," said Jason. "He must be getting desperate for replacements." Kim had had enough. "Excuse me! But we've still got this giant *thing* that's going to squash us if we don't do something about it!" In the distance, from the waterfront, a crashing reverberated throughout Angel Grove. A green metallic shape lumbered towards the park at a fairly good speed. Susan pointed at it. "Rook! It's godzirra!" Tommy tore her gaze away from Serpentera long enough to get a look at what was coming towards the fight scene. "It figures," she muttered. "First, they take the TigerZord, now this." "Spoooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrk!" A slightly modified DragonZord charged towards the Black Widow. Its tail now sported a hammer and wrench, and it shot duct tape at the monster car from its missle launchers. Chris blinked once, then looked over at Susan. "Did your brother just yell out, 'spork'?" "No, of course not." The tape wrapped the Widow around four of her arms, and set off little explosions. "My spark plugs! And you just changed them, too." Inside the cockpit, Robert looked over at Raymond. "I *told* you we shouldn't have used that nitroglycerin." Raymond started crying. "Oh, here. Have another orange roughy." "Thank you." Billy scratched her head. "What's Raymond doing in the DragonZord? I thought we left him in my lab." The DragonZord brandished its tail at the Black Widow. "All right. Surrender now, or you'll get fixed with this wrench." Firing one of her explosive webs as a reply, the Black Widow ran forward, trying to ram the DragonZord. The Zord merely sidestepped out of the way, then entangled the Black Widow's legs with the duct tape, setting off more explosions. With a whirr, the DragonZord's robotic hands transformed into screwdrivers, and it began dismantling the Widow, piece by piece, until it blew up. Somewhere, a black 1981 Mercury Zephyr appeared out of thin air. And there was much rejoicing. (yay.) Robert climbed out of the Zord's cockpit, just as Tommy ran over from where she was watching Serpentera. Billy conitnued looking up at the door to the cockpit. "Ummm, where's Raymond?" "I...devoured him." Tommy made a face. "That is so disgusting! Is there any left?" "No." "That is sick, sick, sick!" Jason cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. "Let's take a moment now to remember Raymond, our special friend." Silence descended on the Park, as everyone remembered Raymond in their own way. That is, until Robert let out a loud belch to share with everyone his own fond memories of Raymond. "Oh, hey. We almost forgot about Gasket and Archerina," said Kim. "Should we do like we did to Goldar and Zed?" Zack nodded. "But how do we get them out of their armor?" Robert brandished a screwdriver at the two bound villains. Their robot costumes immediately fell off. The Rangers and ZeoRangers drew in a collective gasp. "Kim?! And Billy?!" ZeoTommy shook his head and looked over at Billy and ZeoBilly. "How many of you are there?" "I'm the clone Rita made, you moron." EvilZeoBilly spat. "We would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you kids," ZeoKim whined. "Um, we did the Scooby-Doo ending with the second story," Susan pointed out. I *like* Scooby Doo. "Sooooo," puzzled ZeoJason, "now what?" "Sooooo," puzzled Rita, who had somehow managed to find a kettle of hot water in their snowglobe, "now what?" Zed grumbled, "Oh, leave me alone. I knew I should have kept those lab rat advisors." *** The Rangers and ZeoRangers gathered at Ernie's Juice Bar for a going away party. The Ranger Scouts pooled their money together, and rented the place for the afternoon. They even invited the Strangers to attend; the Strangers, who are always in a weird mood, agreed. For the occasion, Ernie pulled out the big screen TV reserved for game nights, when Ernie's Gym and Juice Bar became Ernie's Pub and Grill. The festivities were just getting underway, when Bulk, Skull, and a new friend crashed the party. Susan, Rob, and Chris looked at the three, then each other. "It's today's special friends!" Chris exclaimed. Susan hopped into Skull's arms. "Helllooooooooo, Nurse!" Skull promptly fell over, with Susan sitting on his chest. "Wimp." Julie looked over at Susan and Skull, then at Robert. She sprang out of her chair, and onto Robert, then promptly stuck her tongue down his throat. Robert picked her up, and put her back in her chair. He looked her in the eyes, and with heartfelt emotion, said, "Eeeyeew." Walking over to Bulk, Skull, and their new friend, Ernie said, "Guys, you do know the Juice Bar is closed for a private party?" Susan looked up at him with big puppydog eyes. "Awwwww, can't we keep them?" Rob grabbed their friend by the neck, and held him almost in a headlock. "We promise to feed and walk them everyday." The new guy's eyes bugged out of his face, and he pulled himself free. "This just isn't natural. You people are sick!" "No we're not," said Chris. "We're strange." Susan raised an eyebrow at Bulk and Skull's new partner. "Do I know you?" "Ummmmm...no." "His name is Mark; Detective Stone hired him yesterday," Bulk explained. "Then he muttered something about having a complete set." "A complete set?" Trini was surprised. "He already had a pair of boobs." Susan grinned. "I think I know." She pulled out two wigs and a bald cap. Giggling, she placed the bald cap on Mark's head, the black wig on Bulk, and the red, curly wig on Skull. Rob shook his head. "Where do you keep those things?" "You don't want to know." "Eeeeyeeeeew." Bulk grabbed the wigs off his partners and headed for the door. "C'mon, guys. I know when we're not welcome." "But, Bulkie, this is the closest I've ever had to a date." Bulk picked Skull up by his shirt. "Come on, moron." The three walked out into the evening. Chris, Rob, and Susan stared out after them. "Well, darn," Susan sniffed. "Let's go torment some Rangers," Rob suggested. "Okay." The party continued until about ten, which was curfew for the ZeoRangers. "Besides," ZeoTommy said, "we still need to get the Power Chamber ready for the trip home, and we want to go as early as possible. Our parents might be worried." *** The Rangers and ZeoRangers gathered early the next morning in the Power Chamber. Billy and Trini placed small, blue disks in seemingly random locations in the room. ZeoBilly and ZeoAlpha set up six tripods in a circle encompassing the chamber. "ZeoRangers, inside the circle. Ranger Scouts, outside the circle," ZeoBilly directed. Billy climbed up the ladder to the Command Center, then reappeared shortly with a blue, bazooka-like device. She set it up outside the circle and aimed it for the center, which happened to be ZeoZordon's column. ZeoBilly went from tripod to tripod, activating each, while Billy emptied a package of Mentos, the freshmaker into a small hopper. (Billy gets handed a large wad of cash from offstage) Blue, laser-like lights connected first each tripod with its neighbor, then a wireframe pattern of a hemisphere began to emerge. When the hemishpere was complete, Billy pressed the "play" button on a small cassette player attached to the bazooka-thing. She took a deep breath, as everyone waved to each other, then fired. A thick, blue-white beam of energy fired into the hemisphere, then fragmented. Soon, blindingly bright blue-white light filled the room, making the witnesses shield their eyes. The glow faded at the end of the brief recording of Gwen's laughter. The center of the circle was empty, save for the shell of ZeoZordon's column...and a smoking body. "Uh-oh," said Billy, "I was afraid of this." ZeoBilly coughed a few times. "Mind if I smoke?" He laughed weakly. "I guess I'm stuck here." ************** Epilogue ************** Sabanverse ************** The Rangers awoke sprawled in various positions on the floor of the Power Chamber. One by one, they got up on shaky feet. "Is everyone okay?" Kat asked. "Yeah, I think so," said Tommy, then he looked around. "Wait a minute. Where's Billy?" "Oh, ay-yi-yi-yi! He must not have made the transfer! He could be lost in the multiverse." "Is there any way we can get him back?" Adam asked. "I'm afraid that knowledge was lost with Billy," Zordon boomed. "He will be sorely missed." The ZeoRangers stood silently, in various states of shock. "I can't believe he's really gone," Adam whispered. "He was the last of the first." "Anybody else up for pizza?" Tommy asked. On the moon, Mondo and Machina cut short their victory celebrations when Klank walked into the throne room. "What is it, Klank? Can't you see we're trying to have a party, here?" Mondo bellowed. Klank got on one knee. "Ah'm sorry, yuir highness, but Ah have bad news. The Rangers have returned to this universe." "What?! We're only three days into our week-long pre-victory celebration. How dare they return. Remind me never to listen to your hare-brained schemes again." Sighing inwardly, Klank merely replied, "Yes, yuir majesty." A deep voice said,"Perhaps I can be of some assistance, your majesty?" "Hmmm?" Mondo looked around for the speaker. "Down here." Mondo looked, and standing in front of Klank was a white lab mouse, with an unusually large head.