OH NO, IT'S ANOTHER FESTERING SPAWN OF THE MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS MEET THE TATTOOED TEENAGE ALIEN FIGHTERS FROM BEVERLY HILLS WITH SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE BY THE SUPERHUMAN SAMURAI SYBER SQUAD: THE MIGHTY MORPHIN RANGER SCOUTS Ernie wiped the counter-top of the juice bar contemplatively. After the debacle with the Mightee Moron Powered Strangers, he gave away the computers. He glanced longingly at the door which led to the Command Center. The Rangers graduated six months ago, and were now all in college. To make things worse, Billy took Alpha-5 with him. . .her. . .whatever. The little robot had been crucial in getting the Rangers to accept his Zordon persona. Assembling a new team would be far more difficult without him. Oddly, Zed's attacks had stopped at the same time the Rangers left. Ernie absently made a yogurt milkshake for a customer. Business seemed worse since the Rangers left, too. Those kids practically *lived* in the place. He sighed to himself, and told Ritchie to take over for him. He wanted the rest of the day off. Tommy lay on her dorm-room bed wearing nothing but a pair of panties and an ice pack. The dorm's antiquated air conditioning fought vainly with the Texan late summer heat. She and Kim were both done with classes at the Texas School for Rangers for the day; maybe they should go somewhere cooler? She smiled to herself and sat up. She walked to the phone, brown ponytail swaying slightly in the recycled air. She should probably get it cut, she decided, but it just looked so *nice* long. She phoned Kim, and the two agreed to meet at Burt's Greasy Fried Things. The air conditioning worked fabulously, and the menu was better than the name implied. It even had a wide grilled selection. Tommy hastily put on some clothes and headed out. "You used to be a guy?" Sam Guthrie looked uncomfortably at Billy, sweat beading across his forehead. "Why'd you...ummm...that is, how...?" His tongue knotted firmly in his mouth, he gave up trying to speak. Sam and Billy had been friends since the latter first arrived at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Billy's two friends from Angel Grove bought an apartment nearby, but saw each other only on a limited basis (school rules). Billy looked a trifle lost without them, so Sam decided to help out. Billy blushed a shade of red so deep it was almost purple. "It's, well, complicated. First, I was one of the Power Rangers." Professor Xavier, of course, already knew. He was a telepath for one, and he had Billy's old school records which identified her as male for another. She wasn't sure what made her tell Sam her secret, but he did want to know why she was in a room by herself, when the other students all had roommates. "We met an individual about eight months ago who tampered with the computer that controlled our powers and this," she waved a hand up and down her body, "was the result. The female Rangers became male, and the males, female. Except the Red Ranger, who became a flying squirrel." Sam looked his friend over carefully, trying to be subtle about it, and failing miserably. "Well...it, uh...you make a very nice girl...ummm." He blushed almost as deep as Billy. Billy smiled shyly. "I'd appreciate it if you kept this to yourself." "Don't worry about that. Ah don't think anyone would believe me, anyways." Trini and Alpha shared a two-bedroom flat just outside Rochester, NY. The pair moved there with Billy earlier that year, just after her unceremonious graduation from high school. Trini worked as a waitress/apothecary at the local Nekohaten franchise to make ends meet. Unfortunately, school rules dictated that Billy could go off campus only at desginated times. On the bright side, though, this would last only for the first semester, since Billy didn't have to take any academic classes, which were all on the high school level. All three suffered through as best they could. Ayesha, Jason, and Adam sat in the living room of the small duplex they shared near UCLA. The three were enrolled there with full martial arts scholarships. (Only in California @.@) Rocky was outside, trying to look as squirrelish as possible while looking in the window of the sorority house next door from a convenient tree branch. Adam tried a similar stunt once in her moose form, but girls called in animal control. She barely got away in time. It was Friday, nearly the weekend, but none of them had the urge to go out to the various bars around campus. The three had become something of an item since sharing quarters, and two of the three bedrooms were now used for other functions. One was a makeshift exercise room, the other held various items from a nearby hardware store; these made several trips to the actual bed-room. Right now, though, they were in various stages of boredom, and sexual activity was out or the question; it was Jason and Adam's time of the month. Zack yawned as the chemistry professor rambled on. She was the only Ranger who decided to stay on in Angel Grove, and go to the university there. She checked her watch...thirty minutes to go. She had a date with Gordon that afternoon; she hoped this lecture would become interesting so she wouldn't show up loooking like a zombie. *** Beyond space, in the shadow of the universe, two beings and their energy source watched as their queen, and most of their comrades, were destroyed. The two refugees would now have to search out a place to get energy for their Doom Tree. A blue-green glimmer caught one's eye. "That's Earth! I remember Queen Beryl talking about it and its rich energy sources." The pink-haired elf smiled at her mate. Luna curled up into a fuzzy ball for a small cat-nap. Serena would be home from school, soon, so she should get what rest she could. Luna missed talking to Serena, and being able to give her advice. Since Queen Beryl had been destroyed, Serena had regressed to the whiny klutz she had been before. (As opposed to the somewhat less klutzy and whiny Sailor Moon.) But the girl was happy, and that was what mattered. She blinked once and glanced at the time. She also had a meeting with Artemis that afternoon, to discuss how things were going with the other Sailor Scouts. She soon settled into a half-awake snooze. Back in the Angel Grove, Ernie pondered the upcoming Thanksgiving Day weekend. Normally, while the high school students stayed away from the bar that weekend, college freshmen away from home for the first time crowded the place. Ernie hoped the Rangers would be no different; they could have a not- so impromptu Rangers Reunion Party. Hmmmmm. . . Tommy snuggled between Saba and Kimberly, starlight streaming in from the nearby window, which gave evrything a silvery outline. Kimberly and Tommy had just found this apartment, which was within easy walking distance of campus, a few days ago. The air conditioning was much better than the dorm rooms', and they didn't have to worry about anyone walking in on them. Blinking sleepily at the starscape outside the window, Tommy absently wondered if there was indeed life on other planets. In the morning, Kim fixed breakfast (Saba was back in sword-form), while Tommy went out to check the mail. Besides the usual junk mail (Join AOHell with ten hours on-line, FREE!), there was a mysterious silver envelope with no return address. Back in the apartment, Tommy slowly openend it, half expecting a nasty surprise. "Kim! You've gotta see this!" Trini, Billy, and Alpha were enjoying a rare weekend together, and lay in a tangle of bodies that would have made Kim, Tommy, and Saba jealous. A knock sounded on the door. Trini wriggled out of bed, and grabbed her gray robe. She opened the door, and found a small package wrapped in blue paper, addressed to all three. She picked it up and took it inside, where the others were beginning to stir. Trini ripped open the wrapping, and opened the box it covered. Inside was a blue, boxy object; she placed it on the table, unable to make heads or tails of the thing. Alpha glanced at it. "It looks like a projector of some kind." He indicated the lens on the thing's side. Billy picked up the object, looking it over carefully. "There's only one way to find out." She pressed the big red button on the object's top. Ayesha answered the door. He had been lifting weights in the exercise room, when the doorbell rang. Jason and Adam were both in class, and Rocky was ogling the sorority girls again, nibbling on some nuts. "Yes?" A stick thin girl dressed in a bell-boy outfit stood facing her. She held a notepad in one hand, and a pen in the other. "Are you Ayesha Campbell, Jason Lee, or Adam West?" Ayesha nodded slowly. The girl held out the pad. "Sign here, please. It's a singing telegram." Zack wandered into the Juice Bar and ordered her usual. Ernie whipped up the lemon coconut smoothie in a few minutes. He looked distant, as if remembering somoething, then reached under the counter. "By the way, Zack, this came for you." It was a greeting card, and a Power Rangers one at that, one of the few liscenced products they allowed. She opened it, and read the message inside. She hastily finished the smoothie, and paid. "I-I should be going." She was nearly out the door when Ernie said, "What's your hurry, Zack?" Then he chuckled to himself. The singing telegram hastily put away the pen and paper, and took out a small card. She blew into a small harmonica. "Ahem... Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi Rangers, get back here To Angel Grove For a reunion party, Will you be there? It's up to you, to make it fly-yiiiiieeee! A shot rang out, and the girl collapsed on the doorstep. Ayesha shrugged, and shut the door. He was going to have some interesting news to tell the girls (it was still odd to think of them that way). The question was, did they want to go? *** The former Rangers wandered into the Juice Bar in twos and threes, and sat at their usual table. Ritchie smiled to them from the juice counter; Ernie apparenttly had the day off. Soon, he walked over with a large tray with each of their usuals. Alpha had already teleported to the Command Center. "Did everyone get an weird message from Zordon?" Tommy wanted to know. Billy nodded. "Affirmative, we recieved a miniature holographic projector with an invitation to a reunion party." Trini grinned. "Which we had on its side the first time we played it." "We got a singing telegram." Ayesha put in. "Jeez, all I got was a lousy card." Zack brought out the card, which was put out just after Tommy joined the group as the Green Ranger. "So, do we go or not?" Kim looked around the table. "He probably has a job he wants us to do." Jason snorted. "Would that be so bad? I know I'd like to see a little action." Tommy checked her watch. "Well, if we're going to go, we should head out now. We're going to have to walk there, you know." Adam stared at Tommy. "Ugh...I hadn't even thought of that." Ann and Alan materialized over Rita and Zed's lunar castle. Their Doom Tree materailized just over the courtyard and sunk in its roots. Ann snorted in disgust. "This is what's left of Serenity's kingdom? I hope it's a shadow of its former self. Well, we can still use it as a base." Alan nodded. "But it seems to be occupied." In fact, both Rita and Zed were on the balcony, staring at the interlopers, while Rito and Goldar aimed a large slingshot. Alan raised his hand, and a delicate brass flute appeared. He played a simple, haunting melody, and the four inhabitants of the castle were encased in a snowglobe. "Oh, no, not again," muttered a chipmunk voice from inside. Ann smiled. "Well, that was easy. And those humans down there should be pushovers to get energy from. So, where do we go...?" Alan took his mate by her hand, and they glided from the castle's roof to its balcony. Inside, they found a globe, with a pin-point marked in black and red cocentric circles. "This looks like a good place. Angel Grove." The Rangers parked their rented Ford Ranger at the bottom of the Command Center's hill. They checked to make sure they all had their maps, hiking boots, sun block, hair dryer, etc., before starting their hike. After a few hours, they walked in to the Command Center through a secret passage that looked remarkably like Zed's shadow dimension. They entered the Command Center through the Door of Light, also known as the back door, to find the place festooned with some of Ernie's old decorations. "Whoah, majorly wierd. Zordon and Ernie shop at the same place," Kimberly observed. Zordon should have been expecting them, but not even the usual original series Star Trek-like whirring noises and blinking lights were on. They heard a vague scuffling from somewhere behind the cylander Zordon's face normally appeared on. There was a muffled, "Oh, damn, I'm late!" and a small click. Suddenly, the Command Center came to life. Zordon's image slowly reappeared. "Rangers! I wasn't sure you'd make it. You forgot to RSVP." "Ummm...Zordon, you don't have a return address." "And what was with that god-awful song?" Zordon cleared his throat, or would have if he had a throat. "I suppose you are wondering why I gathered you here." Zack nodded. "We were kinda hoping for some clue on that." "That time of the month?" Billy whispered with a grin. Zack elbowed her in the ribs. Billy winced slightly. "I'll take that as an affirmative." Luna and Artemis met on the roof of Serena's house, as they did every week, to discuss the former Sailor Scouts' progress. This week, however, Artemis called an emergency meeting. "What is it, Artemis? Surely Queen Beryl can't be a threat any longer." Artemis shook his head, ears pinned to his skull. "No. But there were refugees from the Negaverse. Two of them have taken up residence in Queen Serenity's old palace. They're planning on attacking soon." Luna's ears flicked back. "*How* do you know all this?" Artemis smirked. "I watch CNN at Mina's." "So what are we going to do about it?" "Not much we can do." He rubbed his head against her cheek. "Let's go find a nice alley, kitty." Luna rolled her eyes. "Is that all you can...oooo....well, if you put it that way..." The two made their way from the roof to a tree, and down to the streets. They trotted down the sidewalk, on their way to downtown Tokyo. They took the first alley after the intense neon lights started to hurt their delicate night vision. The alley wasn't much better. "Geez," Artemis said,"this is like broad daylight." Luna actually paid attention to her surroundings. "This *is* broad daylight." She looked around. "And judging by that sign, I'd say we were in Angel Grove. I'm glad I paid attention to Serena's English lessons." Artemis looked around. "Why don't we take a catnap in that truck over there?" "Why bother? Shouldn't we be trying to get home?" "I think we should sleep on things to figure out how. Besides, I have a terrible case of jet-lag." "Oh, alright." The two cats hopped into the back of the Ford Ranger parked in front of the Angel Grove Gym, Youth Center, and Juice Bar. They were fast asleep when nine people piled in and drove into the mountains. "Okay, Zordon, why'd you ask us here?" Rocky asked. "It's my birthday," Zordon bellowed. "And you're, what, a million?" "I'm only twee and a half yeaws owd," Zack muttered. Jason handed her some Premsyn PMS. Two cats entered from the back door, which Tommy had forgotten to close. "...don't know why we tagged along," the black one was saying. "Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi! Talking cats!" The white one put its ears back. "Ooops, we blew our cover." Luna blinked twice. "Why are they speaking Japanese?" "We're not speaking Japanese; you're speaking English," Tommy said. "That is because I had Billy install a universal translator soon after the Rangers were formed." The two cats flattened their ears, and ran for cover. "It's a big, floating head! And it's loud!" The Rangers all looked at each other, then at Billy. "Sorry, I forgot it again." The two cats started bathing in an effort to compose themselves. The white one stopped licking long enough to ask,"Umm, you mind telling us what's going on here?" Tommy shrugged. "I guess it's okay to tell *cats* who we are. We're the Power Rangers." They each introduced themselves. "Oh," Luna said, "You're the ones responsible for all that damage in downtown Tokyo every week!" Jason scratched her head. "No, we beat up monsters every week. Or, we used to. We retired a few months ago. So, what's your story?" Artemis answered. "I'm Artemis, and the pretty kitty to my right is Luna; we're from the Moon Kingdom. A thousand years ago, Queen Serenity ruled the Moon in an age of peace and plenty called the Silver Millenium, but it was destroyed by the malevolent Negaforce. Queen Serenity managed to defeat Queen Beryl, and send her daughter and court, the Sailor Scouts, to the future, as well as Luna and I. Unfortunately, the Negaverse was sent here as well. However, Serena defeated Beryl, and destroyed the Negaforce a few months ago, and everything was quiet. . .until a couple of days ago. "Somehow, a few Negaverse citizens escaped destruction, and have taken up residence in Serenity's old Moon Palace. We're bracing ourselves for a new wave of attacks." "As a side effect of defeating Beryl, Serena and her fellow Sailor Scouts lost their memories of everything concerning the Negaverse. We really don't want to have to upset their lives again." The Rangers collectively paused to take it all in. "Maybe we can help?" Adam offered. Zack hit Adam upside the head. "How? We're *retired* remember? No powers. We're too old." Adam bopped Zack back. "Take your Premsyn. Besides, where there's a will, there's a way. And we're all goddy-two-shoes, here." Luna thought a moment. "After Beryl's defeat, the devices the Sailor Scouts use to transform returned to a pocket dimension I can access." She did an amazing backflip, and four gold sticks, a small locket, and a white rose appeared on the floor. The Rangers surrounded the cats and the items. "Ummm...slight problem. There are nine of us, and six thingies," Trini pointed out. "The squirrel can help us by looking in places you humans can't go," Artemis said. "And I suggest that one,"he indicated Zack with his tail," sit this one out." "I'm going to be in this story as much as the last one, it seems." Rocky rolled his eyes. "Not that that's a *bad* thing." "I know, I'll think of a number between 1 and twenty, and you all try to guess. The one who comes closest, loses," Alpha said. Tommy shrugged. "Okay, I guess. I'll start. 5." Billy grinned. "20." "8," Kim guessed. "19," Trini put in. "9," said Adam. "1," quoth Ayesha. "13," said Jason. "I was thinking 10, so...Adam." Adam sighed. "Good, I can quit this parody and go home." Luna shook her head. "No, we need people to be targets." Adam and Zack looked at each other. "Oh, no." Tommy picked up the items. "Since I'm still leader, I'll give out the trinkets." She handed the locket to Kim, gave out the sticks at random, and kept the rose for herself. "So, how do we use these?" Luna cleared her throat. "First of all, Kim, as Sailor Moon, will be your leader." The Rangers collectively rolled their eyes. "To transform, say 'Moon Prism Power'. When things get tough, throw your tiara like a bommerang, while saying, 'Moon tiara magic'." Kim shrugged. "This is almost like being a Power Ranger again." "Tommy, you wil be," she sighed, "Tuxedo Mask. You can stop anything with your roses. To transform, just hold out your rose and say that you are Tuxedo Mask. Oh, and you can give sappy advice." "No, Kim, this is cornier." "What was that?" Alpha, Zordon, Luna, and Artemis said at once. Tommy blushed. "Uhhh...this is cooler." Luna went on. "Let me see each of you with sticks. Billy, you will be Sailor Mercury, able to freeze water with your bubble blast." Zack snickered; everyone ignored her. "Trini, you will be Sailor Mars, with the power to produce fire balls." "She could do that, anyway," Billy whispered to Alpha, who tried not to giggle. "Jason will command the power of lightning as Sailor Jupiter, and Ayesha will be able to smash anything with your crescent beam as Sailor Venus. To transform, say the name of your planet, followed by 'star power'." "I guess now we send Adam and Zack walking through Angel Grove Park with big bulls' eyes on their T-shirts?" Trini asked. Tommy lit up. "Hey, that's a good idea." Adam and Zack groaned again. Ann and Alan looked with concern at their Doom Tree. "It's not supposed to droop like that, is it?" Ann asked. Alan shook his head. "It's low on energy. We need to send something to Earth to collect some. I know..." He pulled out a deck of cards, and fanned them in one hand. He winked at Ann and smiled. "Pick a Cardian." Ann grinned, and gestured with her first two fingers. A card slowly floated out from the deck, and hung in mid-air. Alan pulled out his flute, and played the same melody as before. "Vampyr, come forth!" In a flash of light, the card disappeared, replaced by a humanoid thistle. "Vampyr!" it said. "Go to Angel Grove, and gather some human energy," Alan ordered. "Vampyr!" "Is that all you say?" "Vampyr!" He shrugged. "I guess snappy patter isn't all that important. Now, go!" The vampyr disappeared. Ann sighed. "I hope it has enough brains to do its job." The vampyr materialized in Angel Grove Park, right in front of Bulk and Skull. The two bumped into each other trying to run away. "It's a man-eating plant!" Bulk cried. "Vampyr!" The vampyr extended a tentacle around the two junior policemen turned private eyes. Soon, it began crackling as it drained their energy. "Vampyr," it said, quite satisfied. The two men lay unconcious on the ground, and the walking thistle began looking for other targets. Adam and Zack walked down one of the paved lanes in the Park. "I dunno," Adam said. "We've been through the entire park six times already, and still nothing. Let's take a rest." "All right." The two sat at the conveniently placed bench. Seconds later, the vampyr jumped out of the bushes in front of them. "Vampyr!" "Guys! Get over here, quick!" Zack managed to scream into her communicator, before the vampyr wrapped its tentacle arms around the former Rangers. The Ranger Scouts teleported onto the scene, courtesy of Alpha. The vampyr looked them over with a hungry look in its eye. "Vampyr!" Kim raised his hand into the air. "Let's do it, guys! Moon Prism Power!" Watching from the Command Center, Artemis commented, "Y'know, we can't even be sure if this is going to work." "Ay-yi-yi-yi!" The Rangers all went through their transformation sequences, Kim's taking the longest. The vampyr was polite enough to wait for them to transform, and look themselves over. Tommy was a guy again, and in his white harem outfit, with the addition of a long, white cape with a moon symbol as a clasp. The other Rangers wore the tops of their harem uniforms with the bottom of the sailor costumes. Kim, who returned to being female, had two long pigtails. Finally, the vampyr got tired of waiting. "Vampyr!" it cried, and extended a tentacle towards Jason. Jason jumped out of its way, while Tommy sliced through it with a rose. The monster screamed in agony. Billy tried a flying kick from behind, while it was distracted. It didn't seem to register any pain, but it turned its attention towards her. "Uh-oh." Billy gulped. She crossed her arms in front of her. "Mercury bubbles. . ." A small ball of energy formed where her arms met. "Blast!" A spray of freezing bubbles hit the monster, and a blinding, cold fog filled the park. The monster looked around, but, conveniently, the Ranger Scouts were not affected. Trini grinned, "My turn!" She clasped her hands together, index fingers steepled, and thumbs out, and put them to her forehead. "Mars fire. . ." A fireball formed at the tips of her outstretched fingers. She aimed at the vampyr. "Ignite!" The fireball spiraled from her hand, and towards the thistle-thing. It cried out in pain as it was hit, and there was the smell of cooking vegetables. Jason glanced over at Ayesha, who had also reverted back to female. "Shall we combine shots?" Ayesha nodded, then pointed her hand in the air, pointing up. Two crescent moons formed at her fingertip. "Venus crescent beam. . ." Jason crossed her arms in front of her face, and an antenna came out of her headband. She floated in mid-air, legs tucked beneath her. "Jupiter thunder. . ." She spread her arms and legs wide. "Crash!" Ayesha pointed at the monster, and finished her attack simultaneously with Jason. "Smash!" A laser erupted from Ayesha's fingertip, joined by electricity from Jason's lightning attack. The combined bolts hit their target, and sent it reeling. Kim pulled the tiara off her forehead. "Now to finish this. Moon tiara. . ." The tiara glowed, making it look like a disc of light. It floated, spinning, about an inch above Kimberly's hand. "Magic!" The discus flew towards the cardian, and struck its target. The creature disappeared in a shower of glitter and one last "Vampyr!", then was replaced by its dormant card state. After the destruction of the cardian, Adam and Zack began to revive. They slowly sat up. "Oooooh. . .somebody get the number of that truck," Adam muttered, rubbing her head. Zack looked over at the Ranger Scouts, and started giggling. "Man, those harem outfits sure look funny with those little skirts. Hey, Tommy, nice cape." Tommy posed dramatically. "Remember, Scouts, you can defeat anything, as long as you do it together!" He looked vaguely confused. "Why'd I just say that? Let's get back to the Command Center." They all teleported out, except Adam and Zack, who were stuck walking back. Bulk and Skull awoke just after the Rangers left. Bulk shook his head a few times to clear it, then grinned over at his partner. "I think we have a mystery to solve." "But, Bulk, who's gonna pay us?" Bulk had to think a few moments, steam rising from his ears. "We do it just for the publicity...yeah. Then, we'll get tons of cases! C'mon, let's start looking for evidence." The two bumbled around the area where they were sleeping. Skull stepped on the cardian, and picked it up. It had a pretty picture of the thing they were looking for. The Rangers arrived, untransformed, back at the Command Center. Tommy grinned from ear to ear. "I forgot how much fun beating up monsters was." Billy nodded. "But it was weird not using our Zords. I kept expecting the vampyr to grow to sixty feet." "They won't do that," Luna said. "These monsters' purpose is to collect negative energy, not mass destruction." Trini shrugged. "How come we never got cool powers like these as Rangers?" "We did, but we could only use them once. Small special effects budget." Ayesha looked at the three advisors. "So, we spend our vacation like we did high school?" Zordon thundered, "That pretty much sums it up." The Rangers teleported back to the juice bar, happy they wouldn't have to walk back down the hill to their truck. Ernie smiled as they walked in from the hall. "The usuals, again, kids?" The Rangers glanced at their watches before realizing they were communicators, and the faces were just for show. "Umm, yeah. We've got time for one more for the road." As Ernie made the drinks, Bulk and Skull wandered into the Juice Bar. They bounced off the walls and each other like pinballs. They made their way over to the Rangers. "Hey, you girls seen anything weird around?" Bulk asked. "Yeah, like man-eating plants?" The Rangers collectively giggled. "Man eating plants? Man, what've you guys been into?" Tommy laughed harder. "Look, we saw a moster in the park; it attacked us. And we saw you two -" Bulk pointed at Zack and Adam. "- near where we were." Zack put a gold banana hair clip over her eyes. "Didn't see a thing. See, I'm blind." She weaved her head like Stevie Wonder. Adam rolled her eyes. "Zaaaaack... Really, we didn't see any monsters." Skull looked carefully at Zack, and waved a hand in front of her face. "Zack, you said? Wasn't that the name of one of those dweebs who used to hang around here? Disappeared about a year ago." "Ohhh...Zack's my cousin. He and his friends went to a - a peace conference, in Switzerland. No idea when they'll come back." "Peace conference?" Bulk looked more confused than usual. "You think they'd announce something like that over the news. Oh, well. One more mystery down." "Like, what are you guys up to, anyway?" Kim wanted to know. "Oh, we've quit the junior police to join Lt. Stone's detective agency." "I hope they don't try to find out about the new superheroines in town," Tommy whispered a trifle too loudly. Being close to Zordon left her a mite hard of hearing. "New superheroines? Someone to replace the Power Rangers? We *must* investigate. Monsters are always around, but a new team's secret identities are something else!" "But, Bulky, we couldn't even find out the Power Rangers' secret identities. We saw them out of costume, but we still don't know their names." "Never mind that, Skull. Hurry, we've no time to waste!" The two walked out full of purpose, and without paying their tab, yet again. The Rangers gave Tommy dagger-like stares. She shrugged. "What'd I say?" Kim and Tommy walked into the basement of her grandfather's cabin. The leather cuffs and chains were still there. Tommy smiled faintly. "Once more, for old times' sake? Apartment living makes this kind of thing difficult." Kim grinned. "I don't think I can do Rita's voice anymore. And, we'd have to adjust those chains." He walked over to where his pink whip lay, and looked at it thoughtfully. Tommy sighed, then grinned. "We can always try just suspending me from the ceiling. Now, where's Saba? He usually shows up about now." Kim snorted. "You just want to be in the middle, again." Trini and Billy cuddled in their shared afterglow. "It's too bad Zordon wanted Alpha tonight." Billy muttered sleepily. "I'm just glad your parents are permanently out of town. She brushed some loose hair out of Billy's face. "We should have known. Zordon hasn't seen Alpha in months." A few muffled noises filtered in from the room adjacent, which happened to be the lab. Trini smiled. "Sounds like Adam, Ayesha, and Jason have found our stash of toys." Billy yawned. "As long as they put them back in one piece. . .We really should take those back to New York." She closed her eyes, and rested her head on Trini's chest. "You can't conk out on me, yet. We've only been at it six hours." She ran a caressing hand over her lover's left breast, rubbing the nipple with her thumb, but Billy was already snoring softly. "Just like a man," she sighed. Jason sat in Billy's Closet of Old Experiments, looking through the junk for various fun items. She had already found a number of interesting things which uses eluded her. But, then, so did a lot of things. She picked up the next item in the pile: two long, blue plastic cones connected by a rubber strap; various wires led out of it, connecting to two bowl like objects. Jason smirked. She didn't think Billy was that kind of a girl. "Here's something else we can use." Artemis and Luna spent the night in the garage of the Command Center among the cobwebbed NinjaZords, as did Rocky. "What are these?" Artemis asked when they first entered the chamber. "These are our fighting robots, called Zords. We had three sets. The first was destroyed, the second stolen. Then, we retired." He sighed. "Only got to use them once, too." Artemis put a paw on Rocky's shoulder. "And now you're stuck watching from the sidelines, right?" "I'm also stuck as a squirrel." Artemis and Luna looked at each other. "We might be able to do something about that." Alan and Ann watched their Doom Tree wilt with starvation. Ann was almost hysterical. "We need more energy for the Doom Tree soon!" Alan merely yawned. "Yes, and we will for some time. Maybe those Rangers can provide a large amount of energy. We'll send down a cardian for that tomorrow." Ann sighed. "I thought we might at least get some decent lines in this parody." The next morning, three small fuzzy bundles separated from a large furry mass on the Command Center garage's cold floor. The two felines stretched langoriously, and began to bathe. Rocky yawned, and flew up to a window sill. The cats finished their baths, then Artemis did a backflip identical to Luna's the day before. A small, silver paintbrush clattered to the concrete floor. The noise got Rocky's attention; he flew down to the cats. He picked up the brush. "What's this?" "It's a shapeshifting device," Artemis explained. "It can only be used once, though. Just think of what you want to look like and say, 'Brush Transformation Power'." "You moon people weren't ones for catchy phrases, huh?" "I'm afraid not." Rocky picked up the brush, and closed his eyes. He almost whispered the command, but it echoed preternaturally loud throughout the garage. The brush exploded into a shower of silver sparks, which became an enveloping mist. Rocky's body turned to energy, then grew and stretched until he was human again. The mist faded, and Rocky smiled down at the two cats. "Ummm...where're my clothes?" *** In Angel Grove Park, three figures made their uneven way through it. Every now and then they had to stop as the middle one would laugh too hard to walk. When she did manage to move, it was often a step back or off to one side, invariably hitting her male companion. The other girl just goaded things along. Adam and Zack, joined by Rocky (who wore some of Billy's old clothes), were on a course that would eventually intersect the other group. Bulk and Skull followed them from bush to bush, miraculously managing not to give themselves away. On the moon, Alan and Ann sat on the railing of the balcony, with its beautiful view of Earth's Eurasian continent. Alan fanned out his deck. "Pick a cardian, Ann, and let's hope it has more intelligence than the last one." Ann smirked and gestured. A card separted itself from the deck and hung in the air, showing its face: a minotaur. Alan played his flute; the card vanished and a living minotaur stood in its place. "Minotaur!" "You're not going to be much better than the vampyr, are you?" Alan sighed. "Minotaur!" The minotaur was covered in chocolate brown fur, with the legs and long horns of a bull, but the remainder of the body was that of a well-proportioned woman. "All right. I want you to find Ranger Moon and bring her back here. Do you understand?" "Minotaur!" it agreed, and vanished. "Remind me why we're doing this again?" Rocky asked for the tenth time. "We're monster bait. We couldn't get a power, so we're monster bait," Zack explained. "Why don't we use our ninjetti powers?" Zack and Adam looked at Rocky, then at each other. "Why don't we?" The minotaur appeared in front of the three. "Minotaur!" "Well, here's our chance! Ninjetti, the ape!" Rocky was immediately dressed in his harem outfit, and in the ape fighting stance. Zack and Adam both grinned. "It worked! The spider!" "The frog!" ***BREET-DEE-DIT-DA-DEET-DEE*** Rocky answered the summons. "Uhm, yeah, Zordon?" The minotaur crossed her arms, and waited for the Rangers to straighten themselves out. "What are you doing? You're supposed to call the Ranger Scouts when the monster attacks." "Yeah, but we were tired of being bait." "Never mind, your teammates are now on their way." Zordon had no sooner closed the connection, than the Ranger Scouts arrived on the scene, unmorphed. Kim looked at the monster. "Wow, it's a big one! Moon Prism Power!" "I am Tuxedo Mask." "Mercury Star Power!" "Mars Star Power!" "Venus Star Power!" "Jupiter Star Power!" The three Mighty Moron Powered Strangers watched the scene with interest. "Should we add to the stupidity?" Susan asked. "Naaah," Rob said, "Let's just make fun of them from that bench." Bulk and Skull watched what was going on with even more interest, hurriedly taking notes. "Look at that...isn't that Kimberly DeVille? And we saw Rocky with those girl Rangers. Isn't the Venus one Ayesha? Skull, we just stumbled into something major!" Skull looked down at his shoe. "Yeah, I think that was the dog's name." Bulk pointed at the still transforming Rangers. "No, them! They're the missing dweebs, *and* the Power Rangers, *and* the new superheroines!" Skull looked horrified. "Does that mean all those cute girls are really guys? Eyew." The pair's brains started overloading from the influx of logic. They collapsed on the grass in a heap. The Rangers finished their transformation sequences, just as the minotaur ran out of patience. She charged towards Kim, who did a backflip out of the way. Trini followed up with some unnecessary gymnastics, and her Mars fire attack. The fireball completely missed its mark, instead hitting the Rob, the Blue Stranger. He sighed, and looked a bit charred around the edges. The monster looked around for Ranger Moon, who was standing directly behind her. "Minotaur!" It decided to charge Jason instead. "Jupiter thunder...crash!" A bolt of lightning hit the creature, and she staggered. She looked around some more, and finally found Kim. The minotaur snorted happily. "Minotaur!" She charged again, this time claiming her prize. She ripped open a hole in the air, and stepped through carrying Kimberly over her shoulder. The Rangers followed. Susan, Rob, and Gwen looked at each other. "Sure we shouldn't add to the stupidity?" "YES!!" The minotaur, carrying Kimberly, and the Ranger Scouts tumbled onto the floor of the Moon Palace's courtyard through a swirling rip in the air. Alan and Ann stood side by side, arms crossed. "So nice of you to join us," Ann sneered. Kim struggled to get out of the minotaur's arms. "You *ngh* can't beat *all* of us!" Alan laughed. "Why not?" He pulled out his flute, and played his standard melody. The branches of the Doom Tree writhed, and one each grabbed the Rangers. The longest, thickest branch held Kim, and wrapped itself tightly around her and the trunk. Ann smiled. "Now we'll have enough energy to last us centuries." "Mars fire ignite!" A small fireball burned through the branch holding Trini. The branches writhed again, setting all the Ranger Scouts free. "Our tree! You shot our tree!" Ann summoned a small ball of pure energy, and directed it at Trini, who did some impressive acrobatics to get out of the way. "Enough of this." Alan began playing his flute again. The Doom Tree responded, sending branches everywhere in an effort to capture the Rangers. The Rangers continued showing off their gymnastic abilities. One tendril grabbed Jason's ankle, and held her several inches off the floor. Another barely missed Ayesha, who destroyed the offending branch with her crescent beam. The Tree absorbed the frenzied battle energy of both sides, and began growing at a rapid pace. One stray branch grew strigh through Ann, killing her instantly. The battle came to a standstill. "Hear me." The voice boomed and echoed throughout the courtyard. "Geez, whatever it is, it must be related to Zordon." "I am the Doom Tree, though that is not what I always was." Jason snorted. "Typical. Must be a relative of Zordon's." "No, I am *not*. Now, be quiet and listen. Once I was the Tree of Life, but I was lonely, so I created children. These ones loved me and I them, and I provided them with the energy they needed to live. "But, Dark Ones came to my world, and corrupted most of my children. Alan and Ann are the only ones left. Now, as a result of the corrupted energy I have been fed, I am corrupt. Ranger Moon, heal me." Kim looked confused, trying to remember everything the cats and Zordon taught her, and coming up blank. "How?" A translucscent figure materialized in the courtyard, a tall woman with a hairdo resembling Kim's in her Ranger Moon mode. She handed Kim a small, speherical crystal. "With this." And she faded out. "What a convenient deus ex machina," Billy observed. Kim held the crystal tightly in her hand. "Moon healing activation," she said. The room became suffused with soft light, and blue and silver sparks swirled through the air. The tree began to glow a yellow green, brightening steadily until everyone was blinded. After the light faded, Ann stood near Alan, and the Doom Tree was reduced to the size of a potted plant. Alan and Ann stood over the Tree. "Great, now we're worse off than when we got here," Ann whined. Alan picked up the plant, and handed it to his mate. "Let's go somewhere with lots of positive energy." He played a new tune on his flute, which sounded vaguely like "This Old Man". Another rift opened in the air, and the two stepped through. It sealed itself behind them. The Rangers and the Minotaur looked at each other for a long moment. "It's over?" Tommy finally asked. The Rangers discussed it for a few minutes, and came to a general concensus that it was indeed, over. With the absence of its creators, the minotaur reverted to card form. "Rangers! Rangers! Over here!" little chipmunk voices cried out from the vicinity of the balcony. Billy wandered over, and picked up a snowglobe with the legend, "Greetings from the Negaverse"; she shook it experimentally. "Earthquake!" Billy tried very hard not to laugh, as she spied the four tiny figures inside. "Oh, guys...you should come see this." The Rangers grouped in a tight semicircle around Billy, grins plastered on each of their faces as they saw what was inside. "Let's take them home with us. They're relatively harmless, now." Ayesha tapped the globe, which made a plasticky sound. The trapped villians complained some more. "And it's unbreakable." "I think I'll keep it with me," Billy said. "For study." The Rangers all teleported back to the Command Center to make their report. Back in the park, Bulk and Skull slowly regained conciousness. They looked at one another groggily. "What happened, Bulky?" "I dunno, but I've got one heck of a headache." He scratched his head. "I get the feeling we stumbled onto something important. What was it?" Skull frowned, deep in thought. "Something to do with the new girls." "Let's follow 'em, 'til we find out." "So...now what will you do?" Adam addressed the cats, while Tommy and Kim talked with Zordon. Luna shrugged as best a cat can. "Try to find our way back to Japan, I suppose. I must say this was much easier than dealing with Serena again." "There are several commercial shipping services," Billy offered, "But... they require someone to pick the pets up." "And we can't exactly call from the airport." "You can stay with us until you find your way back," Ayesha said. Jason looked slightly confused. "I thought you were going to bring home that white cat you found at the Angel Grove animal shelter. I'm glad you're not, though. That thing spooked me." "PC? Nah. She's been adopted by some rich couple, who made her their heir." "Their *heir*?" Tommy had just finished her report. "Yeah. I know, it's weird, but they said they wanted a replacement for their pig, Porkchop." Alpha drew Trini and Billy apart from the crowd. "I've decided to stay with Zordon for now. He needs help recruiting a new team." Both girls gave the little robot a warm hug. "We understand, Alpha," Billy whispered, "But, we're only a communicator beep and teleport away." *** The Rangers met for one last time at the Angel Grove Youth Center/Gym/Juice Bar/Former Cyber Cafe/Outdoor Restaurant before heading back to their repective schools. "We should do this more often," Tommy said. Jason agreed. "But we don't have any villains now." Billy tossed her snowglobe deftly. The villains complaining in their chipmunk voices the entire time. "One will appear, sooner or later. It's their nature." Bulk and Skull watched the Ranger Scouts with interest. "They're about to go their seperate ways. Which do we follow, Bulky?" Bulk grunted with an effort to think. "The one with the talking snowglobe." *** Billy and Trini said their farewells at Kennedy International Airport before taking seperate cabs. Bulk and Skull flipped a coin; it decided they should follow Billy. They had their cab stop at the perimeter of the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters when it became evident that was where Billy was headed. The two bumbled into the woods surrounding the estate, avoiding the alarms with a year's supply of luck. But, by the time the reached the mansion itself, it was nightfall. The two looked at each other, the wall of the mansion, and then each other. "What now, Bulk?" The presence of the two boys had not gone entirely unnoticed. Gambit sat on the roof, trenchcoat spread out almost like a cape. He jumped down, and landed silently behind them. He tapped the skinny one on the shoulder with his staff. Skull turned around, and his eyes went wide. He nervously tapped Bulk on the shoulder, who was busy talking to himself. His voice made little squeaking noises. "Not now, nitwit. I'm thinking. I said - " Bulk turned around, and saw the figure who had crept up behind them. His face mirrored Skull's. "Y'all ain't very good at dis thievin' game." "W-w-we-we're n-not theives. We're private investigators. We got liscences." Bulk pulled out his wallet, his hands shaking like proverbial leaves. Gambit laughed. "Y'all *got* to be kiddin'. Come with me, boys, an' let Gambit show you the results of proper snoopin'." The two followed Gambit into the mansion and up the stairs to the former thief's room. He motioned them to have a seat on the floor, then tossed Bulk a packet of pictures. "Look at dese while Ah make popcorn. De new girl here took 'em an' gave 'em t'me." He walked out of the room. Bulk and Skull's eyes went wide at the pictures, trying their best to roll out of their sockets. "Isn't that Tommy and Kimberly? Why's Tommy tied... ooooh!" Skull flipped through the pictures quickly. Bulk snatched them back. "Couldn't be those two dweebs. Must be pasted on. What's that fuzzy thing, Bigfoot?" Gambit opened the door, somehow balancing three large bowls of popcorn. He handed one each to Bulk and Skull. He placed the third on his desk, then rummaged through a case of videos, and pulled out one with the label "2 girls and a robot, take 1", and put it in his VCR. The picture started, and the it took Bulk and Skull a few minutes to realize what was happening. They soon relaxed however, and began a commentary on the film. "Ouch. That looks painful." "That position is humanly possible?" "What happened to. . .eeeew." "A saddle? I'll never think of cowboys the same way again." Gambit had more fun watching the two boys' reaction than the video itself. He suspected they weren't going to be snooping in anybody's windows anytime soon.